Random Happenstance

"Flash Facts."

2012-02-01T05:19:00.000-08:00

Click to enlarge!
There was an issue of JLA--looking it up, I think it was JLA #89, written by Joe Kelly--where Flash has to evacuate an entire city before it's destroyed so Dark J'onn J'onzz can reproduce. Yeah, anyway...Kelly has a line in there about Wally "sloughing off mass" afterwards, which would be a bit of technobabble to explain how he can achieve near-light speeds without being crushed by his own mass. But, it doesn't cover how skull-numbingly boring it must be to be the Flash sometimes. Just because he can do tedious, repetitive tasks in the blink of an eye; doesn't mean they aren't tedious and repetitive from his point of view.

While the Flash could doubtless evacuate a city in seconds; he couldn't, as Superman suggests, "put them back." He'd never remember where they all go...

The Blob figure from the X-Men: Evolution line probably isn't the best bystander figure--well, maybe that depends on where you live. I know I have other 'bystanders' floating around, but I don't have them as organized as I do for the kids.

Today: Conan vs. venereal disease.

2012-01-31T04:52:00.000-08:00

That might be a snide way of putting it, but pretty much. From 1986, Conan Annual #11, "Bride of the Oculist!" Written by James C. Owsley (a.k.a. Priest) with art by Ernie Chan.

The story is told by the aforementioned oculist, Richel, as he has a drink and watches men construct "the machine." A gallows. Although he occasionally ran into trouble with yokels who considered him an evil warlock; in the dive town of Vesci the oculist could go about his practice in relative peace. His bedside manner might be a bit lacking, however.

His office hours interrupted by a scabrous wreck seeking vengeance, Richel thinks quickly and forces his former patient out of an upper-floor window; as his current one is still clutching his eye-stump. Still, a passing snitch gets the idea that an oculist might be flush with gold, and feeds the info to a certain barbarian-turned-thief. Conan rides out for a little B&E, but wasn't expecting to run into the oculist's wife, Narada. Or her lover, Tolkhan. Kung-fu kicking the barbarian from behind, Tolkhan knocks out Conan, but Narada has an idea: make off with Richel's gold, and pin the crime on Conan.

Days later, Richel visits Conan in jail: he knows Conan was trying to rob him, but his wife beat them both to the punch. He offers Conan his freedom, if he can find Narada and the gold; and will split the gold with Conan if he succeeds. (Taking for granted Conan being too honorable to take the money and run.) Still, Conan may have his work cut out for him:

Being both the most logical suspect and due for an asswhupping, Conan visits Tolkhan. Despite being almost twice his age, Conan still delivers a solid beating to the young whippersnapper; who is actually heartbroken since Narada left him, with the gold. Conan tracks down the next name, a local baron, and here's where things get weird: the baron has became a recluse, since he appears to have contracted a rotting disease, almost like leprosy. Narrating, Richel explains he treated Narada's perfumes with "an elixir" that would give the disease to any man who kissed his wife, rotting first their flesh, then their mind.

Tolkhan catches up to Conan, having realized he's been infected by the oculist's revenge, but wanting to see his love before he dies. Conan's been snowed by women before; but he's old enough to not be especially sympathetic. Especially when the trail leads them to a bar full of poxy faces, butchers, bakers, candlestick makers, a small company of the army, a shepherd, and a Pictish chief. At the latter, they find the gold, but no sign of Narada.

Enraged, Tolkhan goes back to Richel's, where the oculist was planning to leave town. Knowing the disease is driving Tolkhan mad, Richel takes pity and lets him know where his beloved is: in a big jar in the closet. Richel killed Narada right off, claiming she'd run away with his money. (This hinges on their being some authority in the town that cared if Richel murdered his wife; in a lot of Conan stories he probably could've done so in broad daylight.) After a gruesome embrace with the pickled corpse, Tolkhan tries to kill Richel, but Conan arrives to pummel him unconscious again, then forces Richel to cure the boy.

His tale concluded, Richel challenges you to find a moral, as he faces the gallows. But not for murdering his wife: the man who lost an eye at the start of his story, was a vengeful captain of the guard. The now one-eyed guard, Conan, and a recovering Tolkhan watch as the oculist is strung up.

I have to wonder if Priest wasn't going through a breakup when he wrote this one. A bad breakup.

If "Build Character through Perversity" doesn't inspire you, I don't know how to help you...

2012-01-30T05:29:00.000-08:00

I have to do this every couple of years: come back to something I said I was going to come back to, some years prior. I had to a while back with my favorite Ann Nocenti Daredevil comic; and about a year ago I mentioned my second-favorite Riddler story...but not my favorite. So, let's get to it, since I randomly stumbled back into it today: from 1993, The Batman Adventures #10, "The Last Riddler Story" Written by Kelley Puckett, pencils by Mike Parobeck, inks by Rick Burchett.

When a shipment of rare jewels bound for the Gotham Museum are nearly stolen by criminal genius Mastermind, Batman and Gordon know his cohorts Mr. Nice and the Perfessor will give it a shot as well. The timing is inconvenient, though, since one of Batman's most persistent villains is getting out of jail tomorrow.

Persistent? Not this time. Even with the encouragement of his curiously familiar looking crew Eddie Nygma is hanging up the Riddler's derby hat. "I riddle my brains out and Batman catches me anyway! If only I could outsmart him just once..." A henchman points out Bats gets hit in the head a lot, so maybe he's dumber now. They manage to convince him by mangling the motto of the penitentiary he just got released from, so Riddler decides to give it one more shot, but if it doesn't work, that'll be the last riddles from him. He delivers the riddle via skywriting, but Batman's busy taking in the friendly armed robber, Mr. Nice.

The Riddler and his boys enjoy a pleasant afternoon, walking the streets and asking passersby their riddle, then bonking them on the head when they get it wrong. Admittedly, that does look fun; but one of the thugs is misty-eyed at the thought of never seeing their beloved boss this happy again. For his part, Batman admits to Alfred he really hasn't had time to look at the riddle, but he has to take care of the Perfessor first--Bats knows what the Perfessor is going to do, and has to take the sure thing. (I didn't scan it, but Bats is sharpening his Batarangs while he talks to Alfred, and if criminals saw that they'd be even more afraid of him.)

Sure enough, that night the Perfessor and his ungrateful little accomplice try for the jewels, but while Batman takes care of them, the Riddler and his gang make off with the prize! They get all the way to the sidewalk, before Batman beats the tar out of the gang. Riddler, though, is just crushed. How? How could Batman figure it out? Perhaps unwisely, Batman admits he didn't; he just happened to be there. And to the Riddler, that counts as a win, even as he's carted off to jail, the book literally thrown at him in court, and tossed back into prison...

You could read this issue just fine without noticing, but Mastermind, Mr. Nice, and the Perfessor were caricatured versions of DC editors Mike Carlin, Archie Goodwin, and Denny O'Neil. They would actually appear a few more times in the various incarnations of the book, until Goodwin's death in 1998.

2012-01-29T18:51:00.000-08:00

A project that I can safely say I probably won't get to anytime soon, is getting my pile of Nightcrawler stuff together for photos. I got this little figurine off eBay for $7.16 a couple weeks back; and while there apparently were other characters in this line, I have no idea how these were sold. Tomorrow, this will probably go on my desk at work!

2012-01-27T05:33:00.000-08:00

Playing with the recent DCUC Crime Syndicate five-pack (and making some snarky cracks) made me think how much I'd enjoy a similar Squadron Supreme set. Hyperion, Power Princess, Nightwing, Doctor Spectrum, and the Whizzer would be the obvious choices. Oddly, in continuity, that group was duplicated by the Grandmaster to make the villainous Squadron Sinister; where in reality the evil version appeared first. And they were both analogs of the Justice League, anyway; only Marvel would have the cheek to do it twice...

Unfortunately, the price point and relative obscurity of the Squadron notwithstanding, it would be a tough one to do, because which version should you make? Classic, Sal Buscema style? The maskless versions from Squadron Supreme #1 above? Or, heaven forfend, one of the modernized versions? I didn't read the Howard Chaykin one, but I read the J. Michael Straczynski/Gary Frank Supreme Power.

My main recollection of the latter was that it was less like any other incarnation of the Squadron, and more like "What if the Justice League were (almost) completely unlikable?" Straczynski's Whizzer and Dr. Spectrum seem OK, but Hyperion and Nightwing are more than a little insane; and his version of Power Princess, the Wonder Woman-analog, was straight-up eat-a-baby evil. What that says about anything, I don't know; but I gave it a couple years for some reason.

Scans from "The Utopia Principle" Written by Mark Gruenwald, pencils by Bob Hall, inks by John Beatty.

80-Page Thursdays: Marvel Super-Heroes Spring Special #1!

2012-01-26T05:08:00.000-08:00

Errr. I had this one next to my computer, and actually just double-checked to make sure I hadn't already written it up: Marvel Super-Heroes Spring Special #1. Featuring stories from Scott Lobdell, Fabian Nicieza, and others; and art from Steve Ditko, Ron Lim, and more. And it's got Moon Knight, Black Panther, Hercules, and more...in inventory stories. I think this incarnation of Marvel Super-Heroes was primarily for burning off unused fill-ins, so even if you get a story with name-brand creators, it was probably early work.

Over at Slay, Monstrobot of the Deep, they recently covered this issue's uncomfortably skeevy Brother Voodoo story, so we won't get back into that one. In the Moon Knight story, Marc follows up on his old supporting cast--good--but also appears in a mall, and fights a low-rent villain called the Raptor--bad. In fact, both the Moon Knight and Black Panther stories feature villains that are defeated by having their batteries taken out.

While the Hercules story does feature his terrible 80's costume, it does contrast his party-going doofus exterior with some of his mythological history and past tragedies. Although, it makes a pretty good argument for Herc having an aversion to archery; which does make me question his close friendship with Hawkeye. Anyway, that one's not a bad fill-in, which is kind of the best you can hope for here.

"X-Forced."

2012-01-25T05:19:00.000-08:00

We might come back to them, but I'm not sure how I feel about the current Uncanny X-Force book. I was lured into trying it since they brought in the Nightcrawler from the Age of Apocalypse--which was previously an alternate timeline, but somehow upgraded to an alternate universe. Anyway, the Nightcrawler from "Over There" (I'm a big Fringe fan.) stays in the 616, because he needs to murder the other immigrants from the AoA, like the Dark Beast and an evil Iceman, I think. So, he's not so much the friendly Kurt we lost for a plot beat in Second Coming; and he as much as tells Kitty that.

Since I came late to the book, I'm also not sure on Deadpool's involvement with the team. Or, if the caption boxes/voices in his head from his regular book follow him over there. I think Wolverine knew Wade wants to do good, and decided to use that...on his murder squad. Near as I can figure, X-Force is a straight-up wetworks team; which Logan runs along with his school. And his time on the Avengers. Actually, I don't really have a problem with Wolverine appearing in every third Marvel comic, even though I'm not a huge fan. It only seems like he's everywhere; the events of three or four comics can often take place in the same week. To be honest, even though he's getting to have it both ways, I do like the idea of Headmaster or Principal or Professor Logan: he's been through some hard times and done some bad things, and he's trying to make things better. Although it does underline my problem with Marvel lately, since Wolverine is somehow less of a dick than most of the Avengers right now.

Ugh. And as usual, the yellow balloons for Deadpool killed me again...

Remember that time Guy tried to murder Hal?

2012-01-24T05:34:00.000-08:00

"Which time," might be a fair question there; but today we're looking at Green Lantern #198, "1" Written by Steve Englehart, pencils by Joe Staton, inks by Bruce Patterson. As usual, I was looking for something else, but here we are, and I had this issue in mind a while back anyway.

Set smack-dab in the middle of the original Crisis, this issue also recaps a ton of Green Lantern history, from Sinestro's origin to the anti-matter universe of Qward. The Guardian that gave Guy Gardner his ring (and gave the then-ringless Hal a new one) has gathered an army of criminals to attempt to destroy Qward, by destroying "the white spot" of positive matter in the negative universe. (Or something like that.)

Sinestro gets John to go to Oa, hitching a ride so he can try to destroy the black spot on Oa's moon and cripple the positive universe. He is stopped by the Guardians, but the power battery then speaks through Lantern Tomar-Re to explain if Guy and Hal succeed, they will make the Anti-Monitor even more powerful. Three Guardians are pictured arguing about three different possibilities: let them try to destroy the anti-matter universe, do nothing and accept their fate, or send the Lanterns to stop Guy and Hal. They finally decide to trust their battery and send the Lanterns.

Meanwhile, Guy's army fights their way through the Qwardian Weaponers, and when Hal refuses to kill in battle, Guy sucker-punches (or sucker-beams) him and takes his ring, leaving him to die in space. Hal survives by taking a dead Qwardian's life-support rig. John stops Guy from destroying the spot, or at least stalls him until they realize the Crisis is over.

The cost is pretty high for the Corps, though: among others, Tomar Re and grasshopper Xax die. I keep getting Xax confused with the wasp-like Bzzd. Who is also dead. I maintain, the GLC needs less fragile bug or squirrel Lanterns, and more Cthulhu-style monstrosities.

(One-twelfth of) a Review: DCUC Timber Wolf!

2012-01-23T03:46:00.000-08:00

MattyCollector.com released the Legion of Super-Heroes 12-pack a while back. Twelve figures for $180 isn't bad (plus a Legion flight ring, Proty, and case shaped like the Legion's rocket accident of a headquarters) but I couldn't drop the cash for that.

But, I did get a loose Timber Wolf from eBay...and China. He was a little cheaper than you would expect: discounting postage, the LSH set was $15 a figure (maybe less, if you figure in the extras somehow) and I paid $13. With free postage! Then, the question is, how did he turn out; and did I get one from a broken-up set sold piecemeal; or a figure that...fell off a truck, we'll say? Let's see!

Oddly, although Timber Wolf is my favorite Legionnaire, if you go back through that tag I'm not sure you see him wearing this particular outfit: it's very much his seventies outfit. (On this post on a Legion election, you can see him wearing it!) The logo and brown-black color scheme he would keep for some time, although he'd lose the Wolverine-style hair around the time Keith Giffen came on the book.

T-Wolf is based on the smaller DCUC base body, since the Legionnaires are teenagers. The articulation is pretty good on mine, except for the hips: they seem a little stiff, and I'm not going to push it. Both his fists are closed, which is fine; and the Legion flight ring on his right looks pretty good. His paint is pretty good, with just a few marks on the head, like what looks like a missed touch on the eyebrows. The head sculpt is great, though: he's got just a hint of a grin, like he knows a joke the other Legionnaires wouldn't get.

Even though I think I'm about to get soaked for some cash for an unforeseen expense, I am going to keep a beady eye on getting another loose Legionnaire or two. You might figure some might be more available than others, but it seems a bit of a crapshoot: I've seen more of the oversized Colossal Boy than I have Wildfire. That may well be because Wildfire is cooler, but still.

I can't decide if beating a snitch is torture or not...

2012-01-20T05:01:00.000-08:00

From the recent Secret Avengers #21, "Final Level" Written by Warren Ellis, pencils by Stuart Immonen, inks by Wade Von Grawbadger. Steve Rogers, Captain America, seems to turn over three suspects to Black Widow and Moon Knight for torture. The Widow shoots one with her sting, and MK stabs a guy through the hand before threatening to skin his face; which gets the mole to confess, since she had planned on saving her unknowing friends.

Is this what Ellis thinks of America, or is it a misstep in a pretty good book up to now? (This being his last of a six issue run.) I do think when he's out of his Captain America uniform, Steve has a little more leeway for dirt: he can do things he never would as a symbol. But while I don't think Steve would be in for waterboarding or hooking someone's genitals to a car battery; I know I've seen him at least threaten to get rough before. (In an old Mark Gruenwald issue, Cap tells a terrorist he'll break his wrist, but the terrorist doesn't buy it.) So, I tend to read this as Steve talking tougher than he would actually go through with, or allow to happen.

Beast and War Machine both stay humane here, though: Beast refusing to kill, and War Machine offering aid before opening fire. Even excluding the subtext of torture, this issue isn't the best of Ellis's run, but the single issues will make a good trade.

80-Page Thursdays: Batman Family #19!

2012-01-19T04:35:00.000-08:00

For the next stretch, as long as I can find them, every Thursday we'll check out an 80-page comic! Not 64, not 100, 80-page giants only! Today, a doozy! From 1978, Batman Family #19! Featuring Huntress, Man-Bat, Batgirl, Robin, and duhr, Batman; in the lead with a twenty-page Denny O'Neil, Michael Golden, and (P.) Craig Russell story, "The Tomb of the White Bat!" Which we won't go into much, since although Batman gets trapped in and escapes from a clever homemade pit in the mountains, he also only triumphs because of the intervention of said white bat!

In the next story, Congresswoman Batgirl faces off against "The Sino-Supermen!" (Written by Bob Rozakis, art by Juan Ortiz and Vince Colletta.) Oddly enough, it ties into Firestorm continuity: the Chinese government, believing super-heroes like Superman or Firestorm to be creations of American scientists, work to create their own super-powered operatives. Batgirl points out to a federal agent that they both know damn well the U.S. didn't create Superman, but is told it's better to let the Chinese believe that, which seems somewhat dangerous. Batgirl busts up the spy ring, but gets a clue that her brother Tony may still be alive. (Where that fits in any sort of continuity, you'd have to tell me.)

Then, in "The Crime Rate is Earth-Shaking!" Robin faces a number of crimes and personal problems at Hudson University, none of which should be that big of a deal, since we see photographic proof Robin can punch a thug so hard his head explodes.

See? And there's also Man-Bat, and a Huntress story, which oddly appears to be the only one here to have been reprinted. ("Gotham Town is Burning Down!" Written by Paul Levitz, pencils by Joe Staton, inks by Bob Layton.)

All for a dollar, which according to this inflation calculator provided by the Bureau of Labor Statistics, had in 1978 the same buying power as $3.47 in 2011. If you find an 80-pager for that price today--ha!--buy it. That said, I know I didn't buy this issue in 1978--I'm pretty sure I paid fifty cents for it in the 90's, and I bought a couple other Batman Family issues around then as well...

Nothing to say today:

2012-01-17T23:59:00.000-08:00

Want to stop online piracy? Sure, we all do. Too bad SOPA--the Stop Online Piracy Act--is not going to be the way to do it. The potential for abuse alone makes it a bad idea, but take a second to read about it--you'll have a chance to, since Wikipedia and a number of other sites will be 'dark' Wednesday--and if you agree (or even if you don't, for that matter) take a moment to contact your Representative and tell them what you think. (Even if you didn't vote for them--I voted against mine, possibly more than once!)

Next Wednesday, we'll be back to normal--hopefully--with a new homemade strip. Back tomorrow, see you then.

(Not) a review: Batman Legacy Edition Catwoman Classic!

2012-01-17T05:39:00.000-08:00

She's not my first figure of the year--I got a GLC Manhunter a week or so back--but Catwoman is a new, new figure; not a 2010 release picked up on clearance! I grabbed the first one I saw, and didn't hesitate. How did my first proper Catwoman figure turn out? Let's see!

I didn't have another one in package to compare (nor did I take a picture, sorry!) but the paint on this one was pretty good. There's a couple little blemishes that show on the macro setting of the camera, but look just fine to the naked eye. However, on my figure there was just a smidge of loose trim under her chin--anywhere else, it wouldn't have been noticeable, and it wasn't hard to remove it. Likewise, the mold lines on the legs don't line up: they run along the sides of her thighs, then right down the middle from mid-thigh down! This doesn't bother me, and I consider it a fair trade for articulation, but I wonder if anyone will complain.

Selina's cape and skirt are both not removable, and while they're pretty stiff, they aren't overly heavy. The DCUC Batman above is having some joint issues from lugging his cape around, but I don't see that happening here. Even if it does, there are poses she can hold with the cape and skirt for extra support. Her hair is another attached piece, and hinders a bit of the neck articulation. I do like the wrist points, though, that look like they're coming out of pointed sleeves.

Catwoman does get robbed on the accessory front, though: she only gets a gold-colored Batman base, and a little poster of the cover of Batman #65--I know she had other looks between 1951 and 1980, but came back to this outfit more than once. No loot, no whip or cat o' nine tails, not even a cat!

So, this is a solid figure, but ultimately it will depend on if this is your Catwoman. Some will prefer the modern, leather and goggles look. Others, the Michelle Pfieffer/Batman Returns-style stitched version. Or the Jim Balent chesty action woman. (God help you if you're holding out for a Halle Berry one...) Admittedly, I wouldn't mind having a modern Catwoman figure, but this is the Catwoman of Batman #323, one of, if not the first Batman comics I ever got. I'm glad to have this particular Catwoman.

Man, I do wish I had a Panthor to go with her, though.

The Terminus Factor, conclusion: Avengers Annual #19!

2012-01-16T05:06:00.000-08:00

The conclusion of the Terminus Factor, Avengers Annual #19, "Beat Me in St. Louis" Written by Roy and Dann Thomas, pencils by Herb Trimpe, inks by Jeff Albrecht. The east coast, west coast, and Great Lakes squads of Avengers rush to St. Louis to stop the 300-foot tall, four-armed Terminus from draining the energy or the life out of the entire continent. At the time, Hawkeye and Mockingbird had been trying to whip the GLA into shape to be a proper branch; they gave up on that notion pretty quickly. In fact, Hawkeye had already gone back to the WCA; but the GLA do delay the levitating monster. (Why Terminus is floating and not merely stomping things, I have no idea; except maybe it's easier to draw, and comics used to be all right with not having a six-figure body count.)

Meanwhile, in space, Thor is floating helplessly without his hammer. But, he made arrangements before he left, as he angles his body to be drawn into a small planetoid's gravity...landing like a rock.

The proper Avengers arrive (even though Captain Marvel and Quasar alone probably could've been there in seconds...) and the fliers try to get to Terminus, as the ground-bound members get bystanders to safety. Quasar tries the tactic he and the cosmic-powered Spidey used, making a platform and pushing Terminus off the planet; but Iron Man can see the new version is "twice as tall...with many times the mass!" And growing, as it begins to draw energy.

Regaining consciousness, Thor finds the planetoid has just enough of an atmosphere to carry sound, so he can speak, shouting something that seems to carry through space...it can carry through space, but he couldn't just shout it out in hard vacuum? OK, whatever...

Getting nowhere, Quasar calls an audible, the Avengers attacking from multiple sides. It seems to work, as Terminus is launched into space. Quasar and several of the Avengers are trapped in an air pocket, and pulled up with it. Back on the ground, Hercules thinks he can hear Thor: he recalls the thunder god seemingly praying to the then-missing Odin earlier. (Which I don't think we saw!) Pym guesses Thor may have removed one of the enchantments on Mjolnir.

Terminus flies straight at the planetoid, and Thor fears for the Avengers there, but Quasar saves them. The collected heroes wrestle away Terminus's lance, and Quasar quantum-jumps it even further away; without it, Terminus can't absorb enough energy to maintain its form, and implodes into a black hole, then nothingness. Mjolnir finally returns to Thor's hand, as was his plan all along; and Thor returns the heroes to earth.

The end ties up everything, but the fourth chapter was stronger. In their defense, though, they had to work in something like 23 Avengers here. Well, they didn't have to, but you know what I mean. It's weird for Thor, of all people, to be the one with the game plan here. (If you're curious about 'audible' and 'game plan,' I'm watching the Broncos/Vikings game now...) We might check out the back-up features some other time, though: there's a Mark Gruenwald Acts of Vengeance! epilogue, and an early Kurt Busiek character piece.

I wanted this one yesterday, but thought it was a bigger no.

2012-01-13T05:27:00.000-08:00

Honestly, this is the second or third time I've mis-remembered a Claremont/Byrne classic X-Men panel as being bigger. I honestly thought this one was more than a quarter of the page at least. Go check out Uncanny X-Men #123 (or Classic X-Men #29) if you don't believe me.

'OMACtivate,' Meaning 'Accept Cancellation.'

2012-01-12T14:23:00.000-08:00

O.M.A.C. and Static Shock are among DC's first cancellations in the new 52. Never love anything, comics fans. Never.

From O.M.A.C. #5, "Occasionally Monsters Accidentally Crossover" Written by Dan DiDio and Jeff Lemire, pencils by Keith Giffen, inks by Scott Koblish.

I don't think O.M.A.C. was a perfect comic, but it was a perfectly enjoyable comic. I had also seen it referred to occasionally as a "guilty pleasure," and I don't necessarily agree with that label. Still, it's a shame that we won't get to see it grow, either.

I'm just lucky I didn't bring down Demon Knights as well, since ever other book I've read from DC the last few years has gone to an early grave. I have a pretty bad track record for sinking comics--there's a reason I do "The End" week every year, isn't there? In fact, now I'm worried for Atomic Robo, since I recently added that to my pull list...

Ideally, I wish companies would try a trick that maybe worked once: take a low-selling character, and team him up with another, like Iron Fist being folded into Power Man. In that case, I'd at least have Unknown Xombi Warlord Shock Patrol to look forward to every month...

Ugh. Think I'll take tomorrow off, then. Have a good long weekend!

80-Page Thursday: Justice League Quarterly #8!

2012-01-12T04:53:00.000-08:00

Another Thursday, another 80-page comic! Today, Justice League Quarterly #8, featuring "Double Trouble!" Written by Mark Waid, pencils by Rod Whigham, inks by Romeo Tanghal.

In the first issue of Justice League Quarterly Max Lord's ex-wife Claire Montgomery establishes the first corporate-sponsored super team, the Conglomerate; which included former Leaguers Gypsy and Booster Gold. Lord invites her to set up a charity match between the Conglomerate and the JLI, but it's a trap: using shell companies and bribes to make better offers to Claire's team, she's left hanging the day before the show with no team and forced to hold tryouts.

In the best DC tradition,the scabs come out in force, but one Norman the Doorman has some promise, if a colossally stupid name: he can open dimensional portals, such as one to a world full of heroes that may be a match for the League. Claire invites them to our world and gives them jobs; and the next day at the match, as Flash and Blue Beetle badmouth the Conglomerate, the new Conglomerate arrives.

As the events seem to get rougher, Green Lantern Hal Jordan visits Oberon, who is watching from the embassy. Although he's never met them, he recognizes the "Conglomerate" on sight: they're from Qward, the antimatter universe of the Crime Syndicate! (It's also occasionally known as Earth-3, depending on when you ask.) By this time, the new Syndicate (Hal believes the originals to be gone) are in a full-on brawl, ending only when the heroes push them back through Norman's portal.

Expecting to be fired by her corporate sponsors, Claire declares the end of the Conglomerate...except the sponsors loved the show, and can't wait for more.

The status of the Crime Syndicate is always a bit of a crapshoot, but now with the current DC continuity, it's still probably just a matter of time before they appear in some form. "Evil universe" is too tempting to leave on the table...

This issue also features a Peter Cannon, Thunderbolt prequel; another Max Lord story, and the return of the Global Guardians. For some reason.

It's a fair question...

2012-01-11T05:25:00.000-08:00

It's come up more than once in Avengers, but four out of five times when the DC-analogues of the Squadron Supreme show up, they're being mind-controlled. I like to think the Crime Syndicate and the heroic Lex Luthor used to have wacky Silver-Age style adventures, where the Syndicate would have some big crime planned and Lex would stall them with a convoluted scheme. Then the Syndicate would beat up Lex and eat a baby or something...

Anyway, since I had some of these figures out anyway, so this was the first thing I thought of when I saw Batman has a crossover coming:

OK, I'm pretty sure that won't happen in "Night of the Owls." Pretty sure. I know in latter Outsiders there was an Owlman in there, but I'm not sure what his deal was, and that probably won't come up again anyway.

If you didn't enter, you have only yourself to blame!

2012-01-10T05:49:00.000-08:00

If you didn't win fourth, though, I guess you can blame me.

From Geeks for Tots, I won fourth place! A $10 gift card to 80sTees.com, two cool bars of geeky soap from Yeung Moxey (50s style robot and R2-D2) and three Star Wars figures from Brian's Toys! Nice!

A big thank you to Geeks for Tots, and I heartily encourage you to check out their sponsors, as well as The Robot's Pajamas and Dinosaur Toy Vault. I'll be checking them out today myself...

The Terminus Factor: Avengers West Coast Annual #5!

2012-01-09T05:28:00.000-08:00

From Avengers West Coast Annual #5, "When Titans Trash!" (They really should've gone with the cover's title, "War of the Gargantuas!") Written by Roy and Dann Thomas, pencils by James Fry, inks by Keith Williams. The issue starts without a lot of urgency, as Dr. Pym revives the android Human Torch. Recently, the Vision had been revealed as not a refurbished Torch, but a separate android. The Torch does have to ask how long he's been down, since his previous record was 35 years. Meanwhile, Hercules watches Terminus and the now-giant Termini battle in downtown San Francisco: the fight has moved since the prior issue, which could be justified by their giant size; but Herc's outfit has also changed. It's a better outfit, so we'll allow it.

As the "Terminus Twins" talk smack and hammer each other, the Avengers West Coast, including Iron Man and Machine Man, arrive. Pym has a plan involving a pair of huge lenses, momentarily blinding them, then sending them chasing after-images. Hercules tries to smash the Termini as he did the Deviant-piloted impostor, but it doesn't work; neither does the Wasp's attempt to do damage from within. Both giants mostly ignore the Avengers, as they return to their battle. The Termini, seemingly defeated, shrinks and is eaten by Terminus, who then levels up to a four-armed, even bigger version...to be seen in the conclusion in Avengers Annual #19!

Even without a lot of page-time, Thomas gives as many characters as he can a moment of characterization: Pym quietly leads the team, USAgent is a "brave blowhard," Hawkeye writes a check his butt can't cash, and Quicksilver is smug as hell but rather deservedly so. I like Fry's art--he had a run on DC's Star Trek book that I quite enjoyed. This is another fun chapter, even if our heroes don't get to accomplish a lot. And the backups this issue are possibly the best of the lot, including "Don't You Daaare Miss it!" and "Honey, I Shrunk the Hyperatomic Anti-Proton Cannon!" (The latter having James Fry art as well!)

Man, I wish this one was in the IMDB...

2012-01-06T05:32:00.000-08:00

Elvis Presley's birthday is Sunday, but I was going to blog on this issue before I looked that up: from Badger #65, "Kruisin' with the King" Written by Mike Baron, art by 'Spyder,' aka Neil Hansen. Such a weird issue...

A cranky Badger is pumping gas for his corvette and gets into an altercation with the attendant, that is broken up by the arrival of the King, Elvis Presley himself. Badger wants to play some songs for Elvis, who's not interested in the slightest; nor is he interested in Badger joining him. "Ah don't care if you're the Walrus, ah'm tryin' to limit my entourage." Elvis's driver, dead character actor Warren Oates convinces the King to let the Badger in on his mission: stopping the Colonel from releasing more memoirs of Elvis's life: "Ah never knew ah lived with so many people!"

In Vegas, Warren begs off, since he has to go help out the Duke, but he lets Badger know that's not the real Elvis: he was too young, for one thing. Still, Badger plays along and takes the bodyguard spot. Together, they find clues leading to "Little Dragon Imports" and Elvis statues filled with heroin. Confronting the Colonel at his warehouse, Badger and Elvis face his security, Bruce Lee.

After a bit of scuffle, the three realize they're on the same side, and go after the Colonel, who has the double crossing Oates and a certain familiar looking samurai on staff. Still, not everyone may be who they appear to be...in fact, everyone may not be who they appear to be.

I was more a fan of Baron's other First Comic, Nexus, but he usually had more leeway to go nuts in Badger. A fun issue, with a solid punchline.

80-Page Thursdays: Marvel Super-Heroes #3!

2012-01-05T05:25:00.000-08:00

For the next stretch, as long as I can find them, every Thursday we'll check out an 80-page comic! Not 64, not 100, 80-page giants only! It's the first Thursday of the year, and we're starting with...an issue I hit the high notes of before: Marvel Super-Heroes #3, the fall quarter special. And we've already covered the lead Captain America/Dominic Fortune story, so the rest of the issue should be a snap, right? Especially since it's not very good.

There's a Wasp story guest-starring Dakota North, a Ditko Hulk story, a one-page Speedball bit, and a staggeringly melodramatic Captain Marvel one where a mysterious woman takes away his photonic powers and cosmic awareness. (I have no idea how Mar-Vell's cosmic awareness worked; all I can think of is some of Peter David's work on Mar-Vell's son's book that make it seem terrible and paralyzing.) There's also a Blue ~~Cross~~ Shield story, a character whom I believe to date still has less career appearances than Hellcow, but here features art from a young Greg Capullo.

OK, not our best 80-pager today. I have some more of those Marvel Super Heroes ones, and I think it was often an inventory burnoff book. So...yeah. We'll see.

Short ones this week...

2012-01-04T05:00:00.000-08:00

...since I'm beat from setting up the year-end post.

Quick, how old is this comic?

2012-01-03T05:35:00.000-08:00

Danger Trail, written by Len Wein, pencils by Carmine Infantino, inks by Frank McLaughlin. Spy King Faraday has to rescue a Russian nuclear scientist's assistant, from the forces of Kobra. It's a pretty straight-forward action book, that honestly would've looked a little dated in in 1983...and it came out in 1993. The Gulacy covers help a bit, but still it looks old-school, especially with an ad for Blood Syndicate. That book was so 90's; which I mention since I had a friend that I remember was reading both...

The test piece in the first issue mentions the original Danger Trail series from 1950, a superhero-free action book done in the style of pulps. It didn't do great either, but became a cult favorite.

Kobra, the mad terrorist with an army of fanatics and fantastic technology, who's battled Batman, Superman, and the Justice League to a standstill more than once...is jobbed out in this one. Faraday steamrolls over his forces pretty much just because he's the hero, but he does get some backup in the last issue from his boss, Sarge Steel, who spends the first couple of issues sarcastically watching briefing films.

The weird thing is, I'm pretty sure I read my friend's issues back in the day; then found a set for myself, lost it, just got all four again from the quarter bins recently. Actually, maybe not even recently; I might've got it in April and forgot about it. Better remember where I put it, before I buy it again...

It's "The End" when I say it's the end...

2012-01-02T05:17:00.000-08:00

Whoof. We covered 29 last issues in last week's "The End" posts; and believe you me, I still have plenty of last issues for next year. In fact, I actually have one done already, since I didn't want to have two 2099 posts, so it will keep. But between those, and yesterday's Year in Toys, I thought this would be a good day to ~~completely phone it in~~ recap what all we do around here.

I kind of want to re-tag them, but every Wednesday we have a Homemade post, usually with whatever action figure I just bought, or making fun of current comic books. Sometimes it's a single panel, sometimes it's four pages. No telling.

Since August, every Thursday has been 80-Page Thursdays, which is kinda self-explanatory. No 100-Page Monsters, no 64 page annuals, just 80-pagers. (OK, I admit we'll probably hit a point where I'm not picky about 84 page books.) I think the majority have been DC, but we'll see more from other companies soon.

Mid-April will be the third annual Retro Toy Week, and we'll check out more of the older toys from my collection--not super old, but it's interesting to see how figures from even a few years back hold up today.

Next Monday, we'll get back to the Terminus Factor, the 1990 crossover annuals from Marvel.

The rest of the time? Comics! Old ones, new ones, good ones, bad ones. Time to read some now...

The Sixth Annual, Random Happenstance, Year in Toys!

2012-01-01T05:08:00.000-08:00

Another year down! It wasn't the best year ever, but most of the big problems I had this year were more inconvenient than anything, so I can't complain. Especially when I look at the big pile of toys from 2011!

For new readers: next to my desk at work is a little yellow notebook, in which I have been keeping a running total of every action figure or toy I buy. I started December 2005 and haven't filled it yet, so apparently I'm not buying enough figures. Hopefully, each entry has the figure, the line, the price, and where I bought it; and possibly a link to a cartoon or strip that toy was used in. (Unless that figure's unloved or unphotogenic, I guess.) Totals will usually include postage and tax.

As always, most of this list was kept up at OAFE.net, and here's links for 2010, 2009, 2008, 2007, and 2006. Six years of data...of my spending habits, which probably tells you nothing, but still.

1-15 Toycom Dark Angel Dark and Leen figures, $7.95 +$9.00 postage, eBay.

"CORINTHIAN MARVEL HEROES SERIES 2 NIGHTCRAWLER," $2.38 +$1.50 postage, eBay.

And a G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra Night Raven, $7.50, Target.

1-20 DC Universe Classics Superboy, $3.75; Iron Man Mark V, $2.25, Wal-Mart.

1-28 Masters of the Universe Classics Vikor, $31.20, mattycollector.com.

1-31 DC Direct gold Cyborg, $1.99+$3 postage, eBay.

2-28 DCUC Creeper (loose, no C&C), $10.50 with postage, eBay.

3-2 2 Sectaurs (Dargon and Zak, I think) $2 + $3.76 postage, eBay.

3-17 Merlin, $12.99 + $7.99 postage, eBay.

3-19 Optikk, vintage from New Adventures of He-Man. $.49 plus $3 postage, $3.49, eBay.

3-25 MOTU 200X Buzz-off, $11.25 with postage, eBay.

3-31 Excalibur minimates, $17.99, the Comic Book Shop.

Megamind Minion, $6.99, Toys R Us.

DCUC Jonah Hex, $5 + $6.50 postage, eBay. (No Bane part.)

4-7 DCGL2 Star Sapphire, $14.99 ($16.20 with tax), Wal-Mart.

4-18 Marvel Universe Loki/Savage Frost Giant, $24.96 ($27.13 with tax) Wal-Mart.

4-24 Warlands Elessa, $.99 (plus $3.00 postage) eBay.

5-18 Green Lantern Kyle Rayner, $15.49; movie GL Isamot Kol, $5.99; Kmart, total $23.35.

5-21 Marvel Legends Man-Thing, $10; WildC.A.T.s Warblade, Maul, and Grifter, $9 total; Spokane Comicon.

5-26 Zizzle Nightcrawler, $1.61, eBay.

6-24 DC Direct Superman: New Krypton Mon-El, $3, Hastings.

7-7 2 Hot Wheels Batman: Arkham Asylum Batmobiles, $2.33, Walmart.

7-15 DCD Nekron, $5 (after credit), Hastings.

7-18 Batman: Brave&Bold Solomon Grundy, $3, Ross.

7-21 DCUC Trigon head and leg, $.99+5.99 shipping, $6.98 total, eBay.

7-28 Green Lantern Rot Lop Pan Movie Masters, $3.98, Target. ($4.33 w/tax.)

8-7 B'dg, Despotellis, and Dex-starr, $9.40, Wal-Mart.

8-8 Batman Legacy: Catman, $17.38, Kmart.

8-11 G'hu, $9.40, Wal-Mart.

8-12 Stel head/pelvis, legs, spare arm, $8.56+$6 postage, eBay.

8-29 GL2 Medphyll (Naut Kei Loi), $4.50, Wal-Mart.

9-5 ThunderCats Classic Lion-O, $19.99; Marvel Minimates Nightcrawler/Psylocke, $7.49; total $29.87, Toys R Us.

9-10 Indie Spotlight Kabuki, $4.25, Hastings.

9-15 Iron Man Titanium Man, $14.04, Wal-Mart.

9-28 IM War Machine, $14.04, Wal-Mart.

9-30 Marvel Universe Goliath/Clor, $13, Wal-Mart.

10-3 Thundarr the Barbarian, Princess Ariel, and Ookla the Mok. (2004, Toynami) $46.99 plus $8.95 shipping, eBay.

10-8 DCUC Hourman, Tyr, $10.80 total, Wal-Mart.

11-11 DCUC Lord Naga (Kobra), $16.99, Target.

11-13 DCUC Cheetah (classic) $4.64, Green Lantern Movie Masters Hal Jordan, $5.09; K-Mart. (Closeout, last day.)

11-28 Shocker ShadowHawk, $2.49; Watchmen classic Nite Owl (should have been Modern!) $2.49; $7.94 with postage, gohastings.com. Slightly disappointed to get classic, but haven't bothered to send it back...

11-30 2 GL Kronas, $3.50 each, $7.56, Target.

12-3 Young Justice Artemis, $10.80, Target.

12-22 Shocker Shadowhawk (silver), $3.25, gohastings.com. Free postage!

12-26 DCUC Crime Syndicate 5-pack, $37.40, Wal-Mart.

12-28 DC GL Medphyll; Minimates Armored Thor/Beta Ray Bill: free with giftcards, Toys R Us. Got a couple freebies from my bank's rewards program, so yay!

2011 total: (as of 12-26) $564.71. 2010: $966.10. 2009: $558.16. 2008: $555.16. 2007: $426.00. 2006: $620.00.

One of the things I wanted to do this year was fight on only one front: I made a conscious decision to stick for the most part to DCUC/Marvel Legend scale figures. No G.I. Joes, no Star Wars, the only Marvel Universe figures this year were in the Gigantic Battles series. I'm hoping my resolve holds up on that.

I'm looking forward to the return of Marvel Legends in 2012, since the next couple of DCUC offerings--the "All-Stars"--don't really appeal to me. I'm hoping to keep getting figures that are new to me; characters I haven't had before. We'll see!

"The End" Week: Justice Society #10!

2011-12-31T14:23:00.000-08:00

Well, I suppose it's more accurately "Justice Society of America," but they went with the short form on the last issue: from 1993, Justice Society of America #10, "J.S.A. No More?" Written by Len Strazewski, pencils by Mike Parobeck, inks by Mike Machlan.

While Parobeck's cartoony style was the big draw for me in this incarnation of the JSA, I did enjoy how Strazewski made the old guard of the DCU seem old; like the elderly gentlemen they were. (Actually, Hawkwoman's in there as well, but looks great; while Carter is noticeably older.) They weren't senile or incontinent or decrepit or anything (because they had cheated aging at least a couple of times) but had a different mindset than even a slightly younger team like the JLA.

Still, the book didn't find a market--which really isn't that surprising, since about a second of research shows this came out about the same time as the first batch of Image Comics. Did DC think this would compete with the first year or so of Spawn or WildC.A.T.s?

Anyway, the last issue or so featured people turning on the Justice Society en masse; to the point they were marching in the streets with torches, signs, and possibly pitchforks. A pair of hit men try to kill Ted Knight, the original Starman, who stops them easily. (How they, and the mob outside, knew where he lived is another question.) Ted suits up and heads to Gotham City to help out his friends, who are hip-deep in battle with Kulak the Sorceror. For his part, Kulak has enslaved the Hawks, been broadcasting his hypnotic message on late-night cable, and has impaled Johnny Thunder's Thunderbolt for use as a battery. Oh, and he licks Hawkwoman.

Eww.

Kulak fought the JSA a bazillion years ago in All-Star Comics #2 (mentioned in the editorial footnote) and ended up sucked into ancient Egypt. He tells a cock-and-bull story about being the Pharaoh Cheops; Wildcat and Atom don't buy it, since Vandal Savage said he was Cheops, and seems a bit more credible. Johnny Thunder provokes Kulak, who summons his...Legion of the Dead! (He had the same dramatic pause!) Although it takes a lot of his power, all he gets are a bunch of incompetent zombies, who smash up a bit of his stuff as well. Kulak's reeling by the time Starman arrives and zaps him so hard his third eye falls out, and Kulak is sucked back into hell.

The series ends with future member Jesse Chambers finishing her dissertation on the JSA; as the team gets together for another meeting. I'm not sure how many more they had, since several of them would be killed or retire during Zero Hour to make way for younger heroes. Yeah, that didn't really take, either.

"The End" Week: Anarky #8!

2011-12-31T11:13:00.000-08:00

In comics, sometimes the last issue is used to wrap up all the dangling plotlines and bring some closure to a story. And sometimes, it catches the creative team a bit more by surprise, and storylines are left unresolved. Today's book brought up a point that wasn't intended to be the last word on the hero but kind of was: Anarky #8, "The Sins of the Father" Written by Alan Grant, pencils by Norm Breyfogle, inks by Joe Rubinstein.

Lonnie Machin, the young hero known as Anarky, has tracked his birth-mother to an asylum. In case that wasn't troubling enough, she tells him his dad...is the Joker. Her mind damaged by Joker-gas, Anarky can't be sure if that's the truth, so he breaks into Arkham to get answers from the horse's mouth. This is a terrible idea, made either better or worse by Anarky leaving his weapons and computer linkup outside, since he can't risk the Joker getting them; before using his boom tube to teleport inside.

Where the Joker is already mid-escape. Quickly overpowered, Anarky questions the Joker, who may be lying or may be too insane to honestly answer. Joined by Two-Face, Killer Croc, and the Ventriloquist; they quickly take several guards hostage, keeping them alive only at Anarky's suggestion. He offers to boom tube them all out, but the Joker makes him swear on it; and Anarky's philosophy of "profound honesty" makes him hesitate. The Joker shotguns Anarky, but his kevlar costume saves him. Freeing the guards and ditching the weapons, the Joker's escape is foiled, but he tosses Anarky's boom tube device over a railing, leaving him to jump for it.

Outside the asylum, an understandably freaked out Anarky rides off, trying to tell himself "genes don't determine, they only predispose..." He really didn't have to worry that much, though: this plotline, suggested by Breyfogle, was opposed by then Batman-editor Denny O'Neil; but Grant convinced him they could do it and if needed, recant later. (Per Anarky's huge wikipedia page.) It also doesn't quite track unless the Joker had been around for over fifteen years or so. And I can't believe the rational mind of Anarky would put any faith in two madpeople--he probably would've done a DNA test before listening to a word out of either of their mouths. Still, I have to admit, he could've been rattled on that one.

"The End" Week: Mutant X #32!

2011-12-31T08:51:00.000-08:00

We checked out #31 earlier, but here's the double-sized conclusion to the storyline and the series: Mutant X #32, "The End" Written by Howard Mackie, pencils by Ron Lim, inks by Andrew Pepoy.

Alex Summers, Havok, has been trapped for a good thirty-some issues and some annuals in an alternate reality where he led a team of mutants called the Six. It's debatable how much of this is his fault, but this earth is pretty well doomed: Dracula and the Beyonder are after the Nexus of Realities. Alex thought it was destroyed; instead, it's inside him. (I can't remember if that was the same Nexus that Man-Thing guards in a lot of his appearances, but that would've been something.) Most of earth's heroes are already dead, and Dracula's deal with the Beyonder lets him drink the blood of many more: Dr. Doom, the Inhumans, and the Eternals are all killed (and possibly turned?) off-panel...

Using equipment built by the evil Reed Richards, and powered by Strange, Baron Mordo, (evil) Xavier, Magneto, and his (alternate) son Scotty; Alex faces the "Beyonder," who is actually the Goblin Queen. (Possibly for time, the reveal seems stepped on a bit.) The Queen had possessed the alternate-Alex's wife Madelyne for some time, probably the entire series. Freeing Maddie, Alex then casts the Queen into the Nexus, claiming it will destroy her in all realities. Madelyne is returned to her son, who knows his dad sacrificed to save them all. Floating in darkness, Alex grins: "I remember...dying. But mostly...I remember......Living!"

Of course, Alex would turn up in the Marvel Universe proper again; in Exiles and some terrible Uncanny X-Men comics around "the Draco." I think Peter David is going to get another shot at Havok in X-Factor soon as well...

The Mutant X universe didn't go complete apocalypse like Days of Future Past, but I'd say 90, 95% of the heroes and villains' counterparts that we saw, along with a good chunk of the normal population, end up dead. (That was a big gimmick of this book: look, an alternate Fantastic Four! Look, they're evil! Look, they're dead!)

If memory serves, I think Mutant X was cancelled not due to sales (or at least not completely) but as part of a paring-down of X-Men related titles. Yeah, how'd that turn out?

Oh, and Dracula?

Yep, it's just that easy.

"The End" Week: the Question #36!

2011-12-31T08:12:00.000-08:00

The last issue of a series you like is always going to be sad. But this one...from 1990, The Question #36, "Or maybe Gomorrah" Written by Dennis O'Neil, art by Denys Cowan and Malcolm Jones III.

As Hub City continues to slide into rioting and chaos, on the day before Christmas even, Mayor Myra Fermin and mysterious kung fu master Richard Dragon find the beaten and stripped Vic (or Charlie) Sage. Vic manages to stay conscious for a bit, then collapses after the encounter above. Dragon gets out of his wheelchair and puts Vic in it; then has to explain to the incredulous Myra why he pretended to be handicapped: when Vic met Dragon, he was "full of macho," and probably would've wanted to fight him. If Dragon had beat him, the demoralized Vic would learn nothing; so Dragon allowed himself to be handicapped, as he puts it.

After seeing her office on fire, Myra finds her police chief, formerly crooked cop Izzy O'Toole, sitting next to a body. The thug that beat Vic stole the Question's "No-face" mask; making Izzy think his guardian angel went bad and there would be no reason for him to keep trying to redeem himself. But, recognizing the thug after he shoots him, Izzy realizes he'd been in jail and couldn't have been "No-face." Somewhat reluctantly, Izzy resigns himself to being good again. Stopping a drunk in a Santa suit from attempting rape, Izzy gives the suit to the cold Myra, right as it begins to snow. He says the snow will only cover the garbage until it turns to sludge, but Myra refuses to let it ruin the now:

Making their way to Vic's mentor Aristotle Rodor's house, Izzy then tells Vic he's figured out his secret. A little disgrunted that "my guardian angel is a guy I don't even like a whole lot," he heads back out to work. Myra stays with Vic, sleeping with him. The next day, somewhat recovered, Vic has a snowball fight with her and tries to convince her to leave Hub City. She seems to agree, and arrangements are made with Dragon to get them and her daughter Jackie out of there.

At the school, a nun tries to persuade Myra into taking any other children she can; since the school is out of food, money, and fuel for the furnace. Disraught, Myra explains they have no room, taking off with Jackie.

A helicopter meets them, but the pilot collapses upon landing, as Lady Shiva disembarks. The pilot had tried to back out of coming to Hub City, and she knocked that idea out of him in a hurry. Seeing that Hub City is falling into complete anarchy, it will be an amusing place for her to practice her skills. Vic, as always, is utterly baffled by her.

In the end, Myra can't bring herself to abandon the city she's sworn to serve. Kissing Vic and Jackie goodbye, she sends them to safety, then solemnly trudges back to Hub...even though I'm pretty sure they drove there. This issue is more about the Question's supporting cast than the main character, and Myra in particular; but O'Neil had done a pretty good job with them over the last three years. It's not spilling anything to say Vic eventually returns to Hub City, but that issue makes me even sadder.

"The End" Week: Kull #10!

2011-12-31T04:29:00.000-08:00

From Kull #10, "While Valusia Sleeps" Written by Alan Zelenetz, pencils by John Buscema, inks by Marie Severin. Kull's number-one man, Brule, has returned to the Pictish islands; so Kull brings the warrior Gonra out of a thousand year sleep to come hang out. As you do.

Unfortunately, since the royal court of Valusia is chock full of doublecrossing bastards, a couple put Gonra up to opening a chamber Kull sealed shut with a sword, thinking it will be full of treasure. Instead, it holds a serpent-man. And a ghost. The ruckus gets Kull out of bed, and he's forced to kill the ghost, a batch of serpent-men, and and an imitation-Gonra.

Also this issue: subplots with Brule and Sleeping Beauty! (Actually a girl that was going to sleep until Kull loved her, which doesn't seem like a great way to win him over.) Maybe this being the last issue snuck up on them, since they didn't go anywhere. Kull would appear here and there in Savage Sword of Conan, but this would be the last attempt at a series for him at Marvel.

"The End" Week: Quasar #60!

2011-12-30T20:31:00.000-08:00

We've mentioned the not-very-good Marvel crossover Starblast before; but I'm not the only one who didn't care for that one: Soviet super-hero Vanguard died there. When his sister Darkstar went to their dad, the Presence, he blamed Quasar; especially since the radioactive villain had fought him before.

Meanwhile, the earth of Marvel's New Universe has been brought to the Marvel U, but is being quarantined by the Living Tribunal. Contaminated by her time with the Star Brand, Quasar's love interest Kayla is stuck there; and although he could give up his quantum-bands and live there, Quasar declines. (She's fine, and it's implied that she's interested in one of the heroes there, but Quasar doesn't know that.)

Blaming himself, Wendell Vaughn decides that to protect those he loves, he's going to leave earth forever. He says his goodbyes to his mom and sister, his business partner Ken, Captain America, Kismet, and the Squadron Supreme. (The Squadron was from another alternate earth, but were trapped there for a long time.) Meanwhile, the Presence and Darkstar follow Quasar, intent on ambushing him when he's not visiting some super-powered friends.

Quasar's last stop is his hardest: Kayla's dad. Trying to tell the obviously drunk man that his daughter's not coming back, he thinks Quasar killed her, and wants the daughter he never wanted back. The Presence and Darkstar then attack, threatening Quasar's family if he runs. Nova, previously seen this issue, happens by; but Quasar waves him off, submitting to the Presence and letting him disintegrate him. The quantum-bands fall to the ground, as a batch of the Avengers, New Warriors, and Fantastic Four show up; but Presence and Darkstar escape.

And so does Quasar, having glumly quantum-jumped off earth and left fake bands behind, probably blowing a hole in the ozone above Kayla's dad's house. He would show up in Starmasters with Beta Ray Bill and the Silver Surfer, but I never read those. Then, Quasar was killed off for a bit, but has since returned and is currently in Annihilators, with the Surfer and Bill again. Glad to have him back.

I read Quasar for its entire 60-issue run, and while it was often hit-and-miss on the art front, it was usually solid on the story. I also liked that Quasar himself? Nice guy. He wasn't angst-ridden, driven by guilt for vengeance, broody, grim, gritty, or full of himself. The sad thing is, while you would want to know or be saved by someone like Wendell; it probably is more fun to read about characters that are more messed-up...

From Quasar #60, "The Long Goodbye" Written by Mark Gruenwald, pencils by John Heebink, inks by Aaron McClellan.

Because New Year's Day falls on Sunday, we'll have the Year in Toys then, and at least another four "The End" posts tomorrow!

"The End" Week: Power Girl #27!

2011-12-30T15:52:00.000-08:00

I said I wasn't going to do a lot of DC's pre-52 last issues (Batman Confidential, Doom Patrol and Secret Six don't count; since I believe they were on the way out before) and then I find a couple in the dollar bin. Superboy #11 may have to wait until next year, though; since we're taking a quick look at Power Girl #27, "Sixty Seconds" Written by Matthew Sturges, art by Hendry Prasetya.

A quick look, since the bulk of the issue takes place under a minute: after thrashing some silly anti-Kryptonian robots, a message is broadcast in the sky specifically for Power Girl. Three "life-threatening situations" have been set up for her, using some of her scab villains--I'm pretty sure Typhoon was a Firestorm villain, and the only book to use them well was Suicide Squad. PG is given the coordinates to a captured Cyclone (her JSA teammate) but stops first to throw a giant rock in the ocean. Shades of old Superman comics here, since you know she's up to something...

Rescuing Cyclone, Power Girl tells the watching camera, "One." She then leaves a destination for Cyclone to meet her at, and takes off for the second situation: Da Bomb, at the Tower of Pisa. I think I've seen him before: he's not quite super-creepy stalker territory, more like smitten thug who won't take "Get bent" for an answer until PG actually bends him. Beating him in seconds, she tells the next camera, "Two."

Typhoon is told to kill his victim early, since PG's ahead of schedule, but the rock she threw causes a wave that takes him out. (Presumably, because he didn't see it coming: if Typhoon can be taken out by a wave, that's weak even for a Firestorm baddie.) Power Girl and Cyclone then have to stop the wave from destroying a small town, but still. She spies the last flying camera: "Three. Gotcha." Using super-hearing...which to be honest, I had completely forgotten she had...she's triangulated where her voice was coming out of the speakers, and finds a small group listening to a video presentation by the Calculator. He had set up the hostages, in order to demonstrate how to distract a superhero from a real job. Miffed that he wasn't there in person, PG takes in the criminals, saying she has all the time in the world...

Nothing that'll rock your world, but still a fun little issue. I hadn't read her series before, but I understand "Karen Starr" has appeared in the NuDC in Mister Terrific, but Power Girl has not. Ah, she'll turn up; but I'd be concerned her origin might get wrecked, again, if they try to make her non-Kryptonian. As opposed to...whatever she is now. Hopefully, DC doesn't turn her into a Donna Troy or a Hawkman.

"The End" Week: Secret Six #36!

2011-12-30T12:36:00.000-08:00

Another recent finish: Secret Six #36, "Caution to the Wind, part 2: Blood Honor" Written by Gail Simone, art by Jim Calafiore. After a night with his new girlfriend, Bane realizes if he can be swayed by emotion, so can the Bat. With the other seven members of the Secret Six, he plans on attacking Red Robin, Batgirl, Catwoman, and Huntress. Catman vetoes Huntress, so Bane subs in Azrael: they will hurt Batman, by hurting them.

Unfortunately, their source, the Penguin rats them out, and it's Butch-and-Sundance time for the team, as they realize they might not want to hurt innocents, but they are the bad guys. The fact that the Secret Six has earned more respect plays against them as more and more heroes show up: a Green Lantern, two Batmen, Superman and his family, and more. Bane offers the Six a chance "to go out like gods" by dosing up on his Venom. They go out fighting, although Huntress is aware enough to feel like a jerk about it.

Although he would miss them, the Six's defeat was part of Bane's plan: either they would win (unlikely) or he would be free of them, of caring, of emotion making him weak. This is the downside of Bane: Chuck Dixon, Scott Beatty, and now Simone all tried to move the character forward from "I break you" only to have him put right back. There's a lot that could be done with the character, but the powers-that-be seem to just want the steroid-monster Bat-villain.

Hetero-lifemates Catman and Deadshot were the breakout characters for the Secret Six, so it's a little disappointing they aren't the ones to wreck their gig. Still, Simone does her usual sharp job on the script, and Calafiore isn't flashy, but he does the job even when the script calls for forty-plus characters. I didn't read it every month, but I think the Secret Six will be missed for a while.

"The End" Week: Master of Kung Fu #125!

2011-12-30T10:48:00.000-08:00

Here we have another Marvel last issue, where the hero falls into the same trap that befell the Micronauts and ROM: what's left after you defeat your series' big bad, final boss villain; and how can you go on when your licensing agreement is up? From 1983, Master of Kung Fu #125, "Atonement" Written by Alan Zelenetz, pencils by William Johnson and Alan Kupperberg, inks by Mike Mignola and Alan Kupperberg.

The titular Master of Kung Fu, Shang-Chi, was reeling from three losses: his father and main bad guy, Fu Manchu; and longtime series writer Doug Moench and inker/penciller Gene Day. Day had recently died, Moench had left the book after a hundred issue run, and Marvel was probably losing or letting lapse the rights to Fu: Shang-Chi was Marvel-owned, but for years later would have to refer to his dad obliquely as "that guy" or such.

Even though Fu Manchu was a complete monster, Shang-Chi is feeling a colossal amount of guilt over killing him; and this issue was all about him working through it. There's an all-too-brief battle with a giant mutated turtle--not Gamera, but how cool would that be? Then Shang-Chi travels with a troupe of actors, but freaks out ala Claudius in Hamlet during a play called "the Accursed Son."

Later, Shang is attacked by a Noh-masked figure; but this is open to interpretation: it might be a minion of Fu Manchu's seeking revenge, it could be a drug trip from drinking out of his father's chalice, it might be one of the actors trying to help Shang work through his pain (iffy) or it could be a manifestation for his guilt. In the end, though, purified by battle and storm, Shang-Chi feels he has achieved atonement, and settles down for the life of a simple fisherman.

That probably looked like the last we'd see of the Master of Kung Fu, but Shang-Chi would return some five years later in Marvel Comics Presents #1; reunited with Doug Moench and his supporting cast.

"The End" Week: Nightcrawler #12!

2011-12-30T05:54:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, when a comic is cancelled, there are unresolved plotlines. It's inevitable: the writer's trying to wrap things up, often in a hurry and with less space than expected, and something gets missed or left open. Sometimes, I write a bunch of intros for "The End" week and they all run together and I may use the same one more than once...And sometimes a bunch of new stuff is opened up in the last issue, instead of finishing up loose ends. Like this one! Nightcrawler #12, "Happy Birthday, Kurt!" Written by Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa, pencils by Darick Robertson, inks by Rodney Ramos.

The story doesn't open on Kurt's birthday (which is apparently probably November 3 or 10, unless it sometimes falls on Thanksgiving...) but with a typical week for him. Sunday he visits a local chapel for the elderly, with a blind priest. (That should tell him something about acceptance, if you ask me...) Monday, he gets a clean bill of health from the Beast, even though he still has the Soulsword in him. (Which would eventually be ganked by someone else's Mary Sue, Pixie.) Tuesday, he spars a bit with Logan. Wednesday, Emma Frost checks Kurt's mind, to make sure nothing is lingering in there from his recent troubles, then he visits his old girlfriend Amanda Sefton in Limbo. (Amanda was using the Magik tag at the time, since it was free.)

Amanda warns Kurt that the demons, ghosts, and other weird crap that he's seen lately, may just be the tip of the iceberg. Boundaries between mystical realms may be falling apart, and things may be moving...

Thursday is Kurt's surprise party, with an uninvited guest: Mephisto. Stopping time around everyone else, he has a little chat with Kurt, about why he was dragged into the supernatural investigations of late, after not really having a lot of experience with that before. Mephisto implies that a 'force of good' manipulated Storm into putting Kurt on the job, giving them no choice in the matter. Benevolently, he offers Kurt a choice: sit out the forthcoming biblical apocalypse, as a "conscientious objector." In return, Mephisto promises to spare his friends and family, and bring Kurt's foster brother Stefan back to life, whole and sane.

Not surprisingly, Kurt doesn't buy it. Socking Mephisto one, he lets him know what side he's going to be on. Time starts again, and Kurt returns to his party. His birthday wish is for his lost brother to be at peace, and when the time comes, to be strong.

...and the apocalypse was never brought up again. Well, that particular, specific apocalypse, anyway; since given the crossover schedule at Marvel, the world's been lurching from war to invasion to siege for years, who'd notice? A pity, since as Mephisto describes Leviathan rising, the Thing is there to face him.

We glanced at this issue before, while making fun of 'One More Day' way back when. Nightcrawler may not have been the best comic ever, and this wasn't even it's best issue; but I enjoyed it a ton, and the creators seemed to as well: they appear in the birthday party scene!

"The End" Week: Deathlok #34!

2011-12-29T19:20:00.000-08:00

Relaunched in 1990--the same 'future' year the original series was set in--the new Deathlok was off to a good start with a mini-series popular enough to be reprinted a year later, as he began an ongoing series. Written by Dwayne McDuffie and Gregory Wright, with art by Jackson Guice; the new Deathlok was Michael Collins, a scientist and family man, forcibly transplanted into the cyborg killing machine. Overriding the onboard computer, Collins escaped the control of the Roxxon corporation, and began his search for his old body.

McDuffie and Wright made a lot of interesting updates to the character: whereas the old Deathlok was a former soldier in a dystopian future; Collins was in the mainstream Marvel Universe's present, and a firm pacifist. That's not to say he wouldn't fight, or smash up a robot or two, but he installs a 'no killing' rule for his computer early on. And most Marvel characters would've moped and moaned about being a soulless automaton monster for the run of the book, Collins bucks up and shares his situation with his family.

Of course, since this is "The End" week, you know the book didn't last: from 1994, Deathlok #34, "Cyberstrike, part 4 of 4: Out of Time" Written by Gregory Wright, pencils by Kevin Kobasic and Anthony Williams, inks by Greg Adams. Like it said, this was part 4 of 4, so this wouldn't be overly accessible in the first place; but it's made less so by three (or more!) versions of Deathlok running around: Collins, the Luther Manning version, and a farther-future Manning called the Demolisher.

Tying into the classic J.M. DeMatteis/Mike Zeck Deathlok Lives!, the villain Timestream is trying to alter the um, timestream; while Godwulf the reformed murderer is trying to keep Timestream from changing the alterations he himself made. The mysterious jerkwad timecops of the Time Variance Authority might just wipe the whole timeline if there's any more alterations, so there's a bit at stake, just not the mainstream 616-universe. (Per Marvel U. time-travel rules, changing history generates an alternate timeline reality: the original timeline continues, with the alter branching off.)

Unsurprisingly, this is a bit all over the place; with the time-travel and too many similar characters. It would be hard enough with the various, hard-to-differentiate Deathloks; but there's also the other cyborg Siege, and Justice Peace. The entire issue congeals into a sludgey mess; somewhat endemic to Marvel's over-production at the time. (To get a glimpse at the implosion, take a gander at Deathlok #32's Statement of Ownership: "C. Total Paid and/or requested Circulation (sum of 10B1 and 10B2): Average no. copies each issue during preceding 12 months: 106,938. Actual no. copies single issue nearest to filing date: 54,385.")

It ends with a Deathlok or two less than it started with, along with a Gordian knot of timelines holding each other mostly together. Collins returns, pretty much to go into limbo until the 2006 limited Beyond!

"The End" Week: 2099: World of Tomorrow #8!

2011-12-29T14:02:00.000-08:00

Some of you may remember Marvel's 2099 books. Some of you may even remember when they were good, in which case this one will be new to you: 2099: World of Tomorrow #8, "The Quiet Earth" Written by Joe Kelly and Ben Raab, pencils by David Brewer and Jason Armstrong, inks by Allen Martinez and Hack Shack Studios.

Per Wikipedia, after one of Marvel's periodic cost-cutting sprees, group editor Joey Cavalieri was let go...and most of the writers of the 2099 books chose to go with him. Peter David left Spider-Man 2099 after co-creating him and writing most of the series to that point; and Warren Ellis left Doom 2099. (Maybe. I had thought Ellis just left because he was done, but he may have done it to show support.) Creatively and sales-wise the 2099 books got wobbly after that, and were then consolidated into a single book, 2099: World of Tomorrow. Which lasted eight issues...

I can't imagine this being a good idea from the get-go. Sure, Marvel might have wanted to throw the 2099 fans a bone, and maybe even figured if everyone reading those books transferred over to this new one it might sell some respectable numbers. Yeah, kinda figure it's more likely the same batch of fans were reading all or most of the 2099 books if they were at all. (Personally, I read Spidey, Ghost Rider, and Fantastic Four 2099; with an occasional look at the Doom or Punisher books. Wish I was reading that Punisher 2099 last issue now...) And cramming all those characters, and their assorted surviving supporting casts, into one book would've made a Legion of Super-Heroes writer say uncle. There's like two or more X-Men 2099 casts involved, and I think the first issue (or plotline or special...) even blows up a rocket full of characters (including Ben Grimm!) and it's still overstuffed.

Oh, and this book is crap. And it's obviously cancelled-midstream crap, since there's barely even a vague effort to wrap it up.

Joe Kelly, of course, would go on to bigger and better things with his great run on Deadpool, and as one of the creators of Ben 10. Marvel's revisited the 2099 world a couple times, and had another 2099 event that seemingly had nothing to do with anything else; and Spidey 2099 is often included as a suit option in Spider-Man video games.

"The End" Week: Judge Dredd #18!

2011-12-29T11:51:00.000-08:00

The end of Judge Dredd? Say it ain't so! He's a British institution...and we're talking about the American version from DC, from 1996, Judge Dredd #18, "Art Attack!" Written by Gordon Rennie, art by Kris Renkewitz and Jamie Burton.

I know I read, and still have, most of DC's Judge Dredd (although I somehow never read their companion book, Legends of the Law) but in 2000 AD Dredd was able to establish the setting of Mega-City One over years of world-building...and more than a bit of trial-and-error. No pun intended. In the American version...I don't know what happened. Think Earth-2, alternate timeline Dredd, set closer to the start of MC1's judicial program; except mid-stream that idea apparently gets tossed and Dredd is transplanted, possibly via suspended animation, to a setting more closely resembling his normal continuity. (And if you haven't checked it in the sidebar, try Dredd Reckoning, where Douglas Wolk is working through every Judge Dredd book.)

This last issue, then, is a pretty straight-forward Dredd tale, then: Block Wars! Bloody grudge matches between neighborhoods! Unfortunately, instead of the long-awaited throwdown between Charles Bronson and Sam Peckinpah Blocks; it's the Boho Blocks, MC1's "resident artistic community."

Admittedly, Jackson Pollack Block versus those Andy Warhol scum has a few jokes. Several Judges are also pinned down and exterminated by the brutal Simon Bisley Blockers, while Dredd is faced with a surreal situation:

In the end, thirty-seven Judges are lost, as well as over a thousand citizens and three full city blocks. Dredd explains the Judges are there to enforce the law, not figure out why citizens break it; and orders the Boho blocks rebuilt, renamed, and restocked with ordinary citizens. Oh, and the remaining artists relocated throughout the city and all further artistic activities outlawed...! Dredd may be overstepping his authority on that one, but it's his last issue, so whatever.

This story needed a bit more artistic variety, and while overall I like it, Renkewitz and Burton draw Dredd (and others) as spitting like Sylvester the cat most of the time, and outright foaming at the mouth on occasion. It's a bit of artistic license, maybe a bit overused there. Writer Gordon Rennie would go on to later write a drokking pile of Dredd stories for 2000 AD, making his way from this farm team issue to the big leagues. (I can't help but notice I didn't see this one in his wikipedia credits!)

80-Page Giants: Secret Origins of Super-Villains 80-Page Giant #1!

2011-12-29T09:42:00.000-08:00

For the next stretch, as long as I can find them, every Thursday we'll check out an 80-page comic! Not 64, not 100, 80-page giants only! Today, even though we're in the middle of "The End" week, we'll take a second to check out Secret Origins of Super-Villains 80-Page Giant #1, featuring stories from Ron Marz, Devin Grayson, Greg Rucka, and more; with art by Cully Hamner, Phil Winslade, Jackson Guice, and more. It's a one-shot, so technically, it's the last issue...

This one opens with a Guardian telling the Spectre Hal Jordan the secret origin of Sinestro. (Written by Ron Marz, with art by Scott Kolins and Jon Holdredge.) While this is ostensibly about Sinestro being a bastard from the moment he got his power ring, killing his first foe and leaving the Green Lantern that gave him the ring to die; the Guardian also mentions almost in passing that GL's often get their rings merely by being around another GL dying, and that the Guardians may have left the yellow impurity in the rings as insurance, in case the GL's rose against them.
This issue features the forming of Tartarus, which is spread out through the issue almost like a framing device, although it doesn't tie into any of the other stories. Using a mysterious imprisoned seer, Vandal Savage is forming a team to take down the Titans. So far, he has Gorilla Grodd (good), Lady Vic (redundant, if you also have Cheshire), and Red Panzer and Siren (who?) so I'm not really surprised to have not heard more about this batch. (That and I think that run of Titans isn't remembered fondly.)

Although there are stories featuring Echo, Johnny Sorrow, Enchantadora, and Amazo; the best of the lot is the secret origin of Granny Goodness, "Goodness and Mercy" Written by Walt Simonson, art by Jon Bogdanove and Bill Reinhold. As a young woman, Goodness rose through the ranks with "Mercy," the hound she trained. Her final test? Kill her dog. Goodness refuses, but not out of sentimentality: as she explains to Darkseid, "He will obey me first, but he will obey you foremost." Darkseid then asks Mercy to kill Goodness, who is forced to save herself. Impressed, Darkseid says he has an orphanage that needs training...it's a scary one, and the best of this issue.

"The End" Week: Nick Fury, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #47!

2011-12-29T05:13:00.000-08:00

This issue: HYDRA blows up most of the United Nations building! Nick Fury gets chewed out by President Clinton and the Secretary General of the U.N. Boutros Boutros-Ghali! Nick's latest final battle against Baron Strucker! And yet it's still kind of boring. Nick Fury, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #47, "Final Retribution!" Written by Gregory Wright, pencils by John Heebink, inks by Brian Garvey.

We even start in a weird place: HYDRA tries to recruit Gideon of the Externals from X-Force, and Fury has to put a stop to that. Did not expect to see Gideon there; especially since the rest of the issue is trying to roll back the clock to Fury's heyday in the sixties. Characters killed off in Nick Fury vs. S.H.I.E.L.D. are back, there's an epic battle with a helicarrier, a castle, and jetpacks; and Nick's girlfriend for this series, Kate, is completely fridged to get her out of the way and Nick back with the Contessa Valentina Allegra de la Fontaine.

The series ends with Strucker falling to his "death," a funeral for Kate, and Fury back with the Contessa and as the director of S.H.I.E.L.D. Status: quo.

"The End" Week: Unknown Soldier #25!

2011-12-29T04:51:00.000-08:00

This series ended too soon...but it was never gonna end well, was it?

Unknown Soldier #25, "Beautiful World, conclusion" Written by Joshua Dysart, illustrated by Alberto Ponticelli. In Uganda, Moses Lwanga, the Unknown Soldier, is coming for Joseph Kony. Let's just say, it's not the last issue of the series because the Soldier brought peace to all of Africa.

I picked the first half of this series out of the quarter bins, then started getting it regularly, but it was a tough one to read. Based on real life events, things got bad quick and stayed bad. I should go back and read the whole series, but man, I'm depressed already...no, I think I'm going to have to find a last issue with puppies and unicorns next.

"The End" Week: Cable & Deadpool #50!

2011-12-28T18:52:00.000-08:00

This is my favorite kind of Cable & Deadpool: with less Cable.

From April 2008, Cable & Deadpool #50, "Symbiosis Mitosis" Script by Fabian Nicieza, plot and pencils by Reilly Brown, inks by Jeremy Freeman and Bob Almond. At the time, I thought Deadpool was going to be benched for the foreseeable future, but he started his current series November 2008. I had been a fan of Pool since Deadpool #6 back in '97, and enjoyed the abortive follow-up Agent X, but only read Cable/Deadpool occasionally. Until Cable was written out and supposedly killed for Messiah Complex, leaving Pool with, as he points out, "a solo team-up book."

In the previous issue, Pool ends up accidentally teleporting a bunch of dinosaurs from the Savage Land, to New York City. For good measure, the New Avengers were apparently moving some Venom-type symbionts (or symbiotes, depending on who you ask) and they end up attached to the dinosaurs. Wade and his supporting cast (including Bob, Agent of Hydra; Irene Merryweather, a holdover from Cable whom Pool was kinda sweet on; and the now morbidly obese Agent X) have to man up and help Spider-Man, the Avengers, and the Fantastic Four save the city. Will Deadpool become the hero he wants to be?

As was typical for Nicieza and the book, it's pretty light-hearted, with a couple of burns on Spidey's post-wedding status, Ms. Marvel and "Mr. Wonderful," and the Initiative-as-allegory. But Pool also gets a little encouragement from "Mr. Thing" that he seems to take to heart, and shows that he's willing to put himself on the line for his friends. And there is a little message from the book's former co-star...

A recurring problem in any Deadpool book is that instead of getting a team-up, he should almost certainly be beaten up and thrown in jail by any hero he encounters. Even though he saves the day, Pool pretty much caused most of this disaster--but not all, giving him a way out. That and he annoys Ms. Marvel too much for her to try and bring him in.

The series ends on a callback to its first issue, with Pool sitting around watching the Golden Girls. Only this time, he's surrounded by his friends. Which of course won't last, since he starts his next solo book alone, and more insane, with the multiple voices in his yellow caption boxes. I remain torn on that gimmick: it has its moments, and is an interesting narrative trick, but would also be a level up in crazy.

"The End" Week: A double-header!

2011-12-28T14:23:00.000-08:00

We're going to try something a little different and double up on two cancelled books. Both may have been a little esoteric for the market at the time, and seemed to be taking their protagonists out of play possibly for good: from 1993, Green Lantern: Mosaic #18, "We'll See" Written by Gerard Jones, art by Luke McDonnell; and from 1986, Micronauts #20, "Worldhome!" Written by Peter B. Gillis, art by Kelley Jones and Danny Bulanadi.

We checked in on Micronauts #14 a little while back; and the team, and their Microverse, are still in a tough spot: a psychic wave of pain and anguish, created when Baron Karza killed everyone on Homeworld, still sweeps onward and gains power every inhabited system it destroys. Commander Rann has returned to the team, wearing Baron Karza's armor, to use its power and systems to help stop the wave; and mysterious team member Scion's master plan is revealed: the Micronauts have been transformed into "prime beings," their very cells now bursting with independent life, that can be used to seed new worlds. The hope is the new worlds will turn the tide of the wave of pain; as Rann puts it: "One cannot stop pain--one can only grow out of it."

Acroyear, Huntarr, and Bug sacrifice themselves; bringing new life to new worlds. Each gets a few pages to make their peace. Scion is ready to do the same, but can't yet: he was certain of his fate, but Fireflyte tells him death is doubt, and he couldn't go until he had no hope. Meanwhile, monitoring the waves, Rann tells Mari they will cancel each other out, and they don't need to sacrifice themselves. Although she loves Rann, and wants to be with him, she suspects Karza's armor is influencing him. When 'Rann' tells her "Let me live," Marionette knows the truth, and pushes them both in. The Micronauts are gone, but the wave is stopped, and the future holds new worlds...

A sad ending for the characters, that would be more or less ignored when the non-Mego-licensed characters were brought back as the 'Microns.' Bug, Mari, and Rann would appear here and there in the 90's in books like Cable, Captain Marvel, and Universe X. Bug would get a one-shot in 1997; ten years later he would appear in Annihilation: Conquest-Starlord, now full-sized. Rann and Mari have been appearing in the outskirts of the Hulk titles, and were reunited with Bug in the Enigma Force limited. The three have never returned to their height of popularity, but I'm sure Marvel will trot them out again if that planned Micronauts movie ever goes anywhere.

Mosaic I had to research a little, since the last issue doesn't recap the whole thing, and I hadn't read the whole series. At the time, most of the Guardians of the Universe were gone, except for one who, bored and lonely, started pulling cities from the alien worlds he had visited and putting them together as a patchwork world. (Aside: I'm sure that's been done before and since, but it reminded me of the Battleworld from Secret Wars.) Although that was kidnapping on a massive scale, the Guardians decide to allow it and let the Mosaic run as an experiment, and make John Stewart the Green Lantern for that world. Amongst other problems, John is stuck trying to put the various alien communities together into a unified whole; and in the penultimate issue, it was blown up by an "Amazon Hellburner" missile.

Or was it? Nah, John took care of that. And the alien armadas surrounding the Mosaic. And the heroes from earth that didn't agree with the experiment, including Hal and Guy. And then John sends "thousands of me" out to talk with each of the Mosaic's inhabitants, to see what they want. Those who want to go, can split. But those who stay, will see such things.

It's already obvious John is far more powerful than he usually is, but there more weirdness to him as well. Visiting his friends Rose and Toby, John tells a story that would have you calling the cops if it was presented without the imagery; of losses as sacrifices, killing the wise men who see what was but not what is to come, of being the one. Dead Lanterns C'hp and Katma Tui, John's murdered wife, come back to him. Comfortingly, John says he isn't really going anywhere; and when Toby is older he can have a power ring.

Hal butts in, claiming John's a little free with his power, and asks where it came from. John pretends to think about that for a moment, then removes his ring, and swallows it. He then takes the red robes of a Guardian; and Hal and Kilowog both act like John declared himself Space Pope. John ignores them, flying off to talk to the big floating heads of the Guardians, who knew John's destiny from the start, but had to let him suffer through his trials to become what he needed to be.

Katma is back, although it's open to interpretation how much of her: she may be nothing more than a splinter of John's own soul, a reflection. While John has grown to the point that he doesn't need her the way he did, he's still glad to have her around. The issue ends, after John touches base with some of his brave new world's inhabitants, with John playing piano...

I honestly couldn't tell you the next time John Stewart would be seen in the comics; and I think the Mosaic world was dismantled and everyone shipped home, off-panel, and Katma--who, again, may or may not have been 'real'--may have been killed, again, off-panel! John would pull a tour of duty as a Darkstar before that organization (and comic) fell apart. After he was added to the roster of the Justice League cartoon, he would be quite probably the most visible Green Lantern for several years; but I don't think it would be wrong to say DC editorial has had conflicting ideas what to do with him. Except they seem to agree not to bring up Mosaic.

"The End" Week: Moon Knight, Fist of Khonshu #6!

2011-12-28T12:27:00.000-08:00

Moon Knight #6, "The Last White Knight" Written by Jim Owlsey (a.k.a. Priest), pencils by Mark Beacham, inks by Geof Isherwood. Even though Moon Knight had his unnecessarily ornate 'Fist of Khonshu' outfit with the ankh replacing the classic moon-logo and his gold guards and belt; this issue could well have been done in MK's earlier series. (A sharp Bill Sienkiewicz cover helps.)

Investigating a heroin-smuggling, child-kidnapping, voodoo-sacrificing cult/gang; Moon Knight becomes involved with a heroin-addicted agent who is less worried about being controlled by said gang than she is over having been forced to give up her son. Although he plays the grim, spooky avenger at times, Moon Knight is also remarkably glib here:

Although it looks like there's a chance for redemption, it doesn't end well, and Moon Knight's second series ends with no explanation. Although, the back inside cover has an ad for Secret Wars II, which would force its way into every Marvel book published at the time; and I'm just fine without Moon Knight having to participate in that one.

"The End" Week: Batman Confidential #54!

2011-12-28T10:13:00.000-08:00

We mentioned an earlier part of this one before, but it qualifies for "The End" week, so here it is: Batman Confidential #54, "Super Powers, conclusion: The Power of Six" Written by Marc Guggenheim, pencils, inks, and some colors by Jerry Bingham. (Other colors by David Baron.)

In 2007, Batman Confidential replaced Legends of the Dark Knight after 214 issues. (Probably based on the indica, the GCD splits it, starting #37 it's "Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight.") I've read a lot of the latter, but almost none of the former; although I had been interested in the Kevin Maguire Batgirl/Catwoman issues and the return of the Wrath. Sam Kieth did a few issues as well, and Tom Mandrake had "Batman vs. the Undead," which if I found it for a buck an issue like I did this one, I'd totally read. (And since writing this, I have found a couple of those...)

This issue, and all of "Super Powers," has two narrative threads: one following young, pre-Batman Bruce in China training with super-powered martial artists the Zhuguan; the other a rookie Batman tracking an alien vampire from an early Justice League case. In China, Bruce takes the Zhugan's secret power-bestowing elixir and a totem for his costume. His codename? Hei An Wushuh, meaning "dark night." Since now, Bruce can disappear in the night. Together, the Zhugan plan to finally bring down brutal local warlord Huairen.

(Meanwhile, Batman is in over his head fighting the alien vampires, who aren't really either. They're artificially-evolved humans and a bit full of themselves, but the one the JLA fought has made more.)

In a very medieval battle, one of the Zhugan rains arrows down on Huairen and his men, before their leader Guanxi faces him one-on-one. Even with arrows sticking out of him, Huairen seemingly snaps Guanxi's neck, although he's then a bit surprised to realize all his men are dead. And that's not really surprised they're dead, but surprised since it seems poor tactics: he can get new men, but the Zhugan can't replace Guanxi; even with the healing powers of Ri, the female member of the team. Ri explains this was just to get Huairen out in the open...so Bruce can backstab him through the heart.

(The 'alien vampire' tells Batman he's not afraid of his act, and that soon humanity will be evolved to the point that Batman is like an ape to them. But not Batman, he's going to be beaten to death by the horde...)

Ri's healing powers do save Guanxi, then Bruce wants her to save Huairen. Guanxi tells Bruce that she's too tired from saving him; and Bruce realizes that was the plan all along. Using CPR, he resuscitates Huairen, even as Guanxi berates Bruce: "The afterlife is the only secure jail...the blood of his next victims will be on your hands." Pfft, that'll never come up again...

Bruce stalks off angrily, disappointed that strength in numbers isn't working out. Also, he's having painful withdrawals. At first he seemed to think he was so angry it was actually causing him pain, but it's something else. Ri offers him more of their power-elixir, which is really a modified form of opium. He sees that as another betrayal, mostly because, gasp! Drugs!

(Under a monkey-pile of 'vampires,' Bats buys himself some time with sonics, before the cavalry rides in: the Justice League. Aquaman explains J'onn put a tracer on him last time. The head 'vampire' says all they wanted was to become more, not unlike the JLA themselves. But Batman has learned this lesson with the Zhughan: you can't force change on people, or hide its consequences.)

Ri tries to convince Bruce to stay, that some foes no one man can defeat. But Bruce has learned he can only trust himself. He doesn't know if that will change, but in the end, he hopes it will, as he answers his JLA communicator.

While not unenjoyable, there are a couple problems with this issue. First (and least) the continuity is a little dicey; not only with the JLA, but if Bats had a bad experience with opium super powers, he would probably be more wary of juicing Venom later. The "Hero goes to the mysterious East to learn mystic skills" was a hoary old plot back when the Shadow did it, and I'm also not sure why this is set up like a period kung-fu movie: if this story is set within, oh, the last fifty years or so, you'd really expect the bad guy's men to have at least a few AK-47's. But worse, although Batman won't kill Huairen, he doesn't seem to have a problem with all of Huairen's men (and horses!) being peppered with arrows. It would be like letting Green Lantern murder the Joker's henchmen, but insisting the Joker go to Arkham...

Once more thing, since this issue was on my desk for a while: the cover of Batman Confidential #54, is not great, but Huairen's costume is...what is that? I thought he was bare-chested but had shoulder pads, and some kind of nipple-ring suspenders set up there. Add the little pixie booties, and I don't know if that outfit screams Chinese warlord to me.

"The End" Week: Doom Patrol #22!

2011-12-28T07:40:00.000-08:00

I said I wasn't going to do a lot of DC pre-reboot last issues, but this book fell a little short of that finish line: Doom Patrol #22, "Doomsday (No, not him)" Written by Keith Giffen, pencils by Ron Randall, inks by Art Thibert.

The Doom Patrol had been working out of Oolong Island--think Mad Scientist Island. Even before the Chief shot himself full of Kryptonian DNA and went nuts, the team's relationship with the island's president Veronica Cale was strained; but the team gets thrown out when she's taken over by Mr. Somebody. (Formerly Mr. Nobody, a villain from the Grant Morrison run: I loved that in Giffen's book, all versions of the team were canon.) The island's super-science was now under the control of Mr. Somebody Enterprises, and DP associates Ambush Bug, Crazy Jane, and Danny the Bungalow (formerly Danny the Street, again from Morrison) were stuck on house arrest. (MSE couldn't make them leave, but they couldn't go anywhere, either.)

Fighting their way past their old foes (and recent MSE hires) like Animal-Vegetable-Mineral Man; the Doom Patrol faces Mr. Somebody and his corporate guard, when Ambush Bug arrives with a mysterious package and a whispered message for Somebody:

And that's it: apparently not seeing the profit in this enterprise anymore, Mr. Somebody takes his ball and goes home. The freed Cale allows the Doom Patrol to stay on the island, no strings attached; except for an ominous closing note...

Some might consider this one a little anticlimactic, but I did enjoy Giffen having a little fun with his editor-in-chief ("What's a DiDio?") before the two would relaunch OMAC. (Or O.M.A.C., I guess, although I steadfastly refuse to type those periods every time...) And Robotman has returned in My Greatest Adventure, a reboot version. I just read the second issue yesterday, as I write this, and it was pretty good! Here's hoping it leads to another Doom Patrol...

"Doompatrolsday."

2011-12-28T05:12:00.000-08:00

This'll make sense later today, trust me.

"The End" Week: Iron Man #332!

2011-12-27T18:51:00.000-08:00

Previously, over the last however long it's been, we've checked out a few of Marvel's last issues from before the Lee/Liefeld Heroes Reborn relaunch, and they weren't terrible: Tom DeFalco ended his long run with Fantastic Four #416 and a big goodbye to every FF character that would fit, even wedged into the Onslaught crossover. William Messner-Loebs hadn't put in as much time with Thor, but Thor #502 does much the same. More firmly in the crossover storyline, Mark Waid didn't get to dig into Avengers history in Avengers #402, but it has it's moments, and underlines how well he could write Cap.

Then there's today's book: Iron Man #332, "Night Neverending" Written by Terry Kavanagh, pencils by Joe Bennett, inks by Mark McKenna and Tim Dzon. It's not just part of the Onslaught crossover--no, wait: it is just part of the Onslaught crossover. Tony, Giant-Man, Black Panther, and Quicksilver try to make their way through the Onslaught-controlled Sentinels; so they can whip up some psychic-shield headgear for the heroes. And...that's about it. It's a little slight.

This was less than a year after the Crossing, and this was Teen Iron Man. I don't believe it was catching on, as it were. That may account for not getting into Tony's history, since it was currently just wrecked. If you were to scale some sort of Retcon Outrage Meter, with events like Spider-Man erasing his marriage or Batman wetting himself on the high end; generally ignoring Tony's second teens would be in the negative numbers. I couldn't tell you if Marvel heard a peep of complaint there.

Sigh. Well, maybe next year we'll get to Captain America #454...

Another "The End" Addendum:

2011-12-27T15:45:00.000-08:00

As usual...I read a lot of cancelled comics. What other last issues did we check out this year, before "the end"? Question Quarterly #5. We mention Captain America #50 in passing, talking about Cap's multiple funerals. Marvel Premiere #61. 'Mazing Man #12. Huh, not as many as usual, but I guess I'm saving them now, eh?

"The End" Week: X-Statix #26!

2011-12-27T11:55:00.000-08:00

There will be more than one like this issue this week, where this was the only way it could've ended. (By the way, I don't think any of you would, but no complaints about spoilers during "The End" week, eh?)

From 2004, X-Statix #26, "Are You Ready?" Written by Peter Milligan, art by Mike Allred. I thought it had been longer: it seems like forever since Marvel published a book like this, like a remnant of an old regime. I read the new X-Force, then X-Statix for some time, falling off when the psuedo-Princess Di storyline seemed to drag on a bit. I didn't pick up their crossover with the Avengers, or this final issue, until fairly recently. (2010, that's fairly recent...)

The X-Statix team, down to Mr. Sensitive, the Anarchist, Dead Girl, Vivisector, Doop, and Venus Dee Milo; is on the verge of retirement, but is approached for "one last payday." The Anarchist correctly points out, that's exactly what "punch-drunk fighters say before they step into the ring and lose whatever brains they got left." Mr. Sensitive's guts cramp up, seemingly at the very notion; but Venus persaudes him that mutants like them are going to need more money than usual, to lead normal lives.

The mission seems simple enough; a mansion full of armed gunmen. (The gunmens' goal is unstated and irrelevant, like a video game.) Anarchist seems especially contrary today, bringing up dead team members Zeitgeist and Edie; and that the team has rarely been in it just for the money before. In actuality, Anarchist had been trying to cover for Dead Girl, who hadn't been feeling well, but didn't feel like a dead girl could call in sick.

Of course, this is the last issue, so the team is gunned down to the last. But, as the cover points out, it's "downbeat but strangely moving." X-Statix goes out together, and goes out fighting. No bitterness, no finger-pointing, no self-doubt. Definitely something to be said for that.

X-Statix, and Milligan and Allred, would get a bit of a coda a couple years later, with X-Statix Presents: Dead Girl. Guest-starring Dr. Strange, but I haven't read that yet. Someday, I suppose. And Doop is seen as gutshot and apparently dead, but I know he's turned up since.

"The End" Week: John Carter, Warlord of Mars #28!

2011-12-27T08:12:00.000-08:00

It's probably never openly discussed, but I'm occasionally curious on the licensing rates for something like the Edgar Rice Burroughs' properties, specifically Tarzan and John Carter of Mars. Are there licensing rates for those, or did they go public domain at some point? I wonder, because I've read Tarzan comics from Gold Key, DC, Marvel, and Dark Horse; and there seem to be a ton of John Carter comics forthcoming. Today, we're checking out the last issue of Marvel's 1977-79 series, John Carter, Warlord of Mars #28, "The Weapon-Maker of Mars!" Written by Peter Gillis, pencils by Larry Hama, inks by Ricardo Villamonte.

Carter had previously fought off cancellation around #26, and while this was the last regular issue, he wasn't quite down for the count: John Carter Annual #3 came out after this one, but let's go on. This issue, coming down from the hectic pace of the last several adventures, John takes some men to explore the dead city of Aaanthor. It's not the biggest dead city in the deserts of Mars, but still, neat.

In a few pages, Gillis does a good job of setting up a very Burroughs story: weird bugs in the abandoned city. A throne room full of paralyzed, frozen Martian apes. A throne with shackles--"Locked, unbroken--and yet empty!" Carter's investigation is interrupted by the sudden appearance of a couple in a chariot, being chased by a horde of green Martians. One of the green Martians then appears to grow colossal, before they all disappear; not even leaving tracks.

After camping outside the city, Kantos Kan decides to investigate himself. He is promptly surprised by a giant, and captured. John and the others come after him, and find Kantos a prisoner of a withered, ancient man. He paralyzes them all with his sceptre, which he conveniently found under the throne when he was chained there. The geezer identifies himself as a priest of the Elder Gods, who was denied the usual trip to the underworld and was instead sentenced to be eaten by the apes. The sceptre froze the apes, and eventually he starved to the point where he could get out of his shackles; at which point he started having weird visions and making sacrifices to the Elder Gods.

John, having some telepathic resistance, breaks free, and after a brief tussle, "the vault of the gods" is knocked over. Instead of the secrets of the universe, it contains...more bugs. The geezer's mind snaps, probably for good; and John frees his friends. Smashing the sceptre, they leave the dead Aaanthor, with John resolving to have the area sealed off...even as he wonders where the visions came from. Left alone, the bugs gather...

A fun done-in-one; that doubtless wasn't intended to be the last of the series. Still, not a bad way to go out.

"The End" Week: Nth Man #16!

2011-12-27T05:32:00.000-08:00

Ah, now here's a proper last issue! This was the absolute end of this series; to date, it has not come back. But, it's not completely inaccessible, it wraps up the whole run with a big bow on top, and doesn't look like it was thrown together by the first guy the editor saw holding a pencil. From 1989, Nth Man, the Ultimate Ninja #16, "The Rinse Cycle" Written by Larry Hama, pencils by Ron Wagner, inks by Fred Fredericks.

Even though I'd only read it sporadically, the splash page gives a great recap:

"In the last issue, John Doe, aka the Nth Man, and his friends were rescuing Mrs. Parrish from the dead orphanage keepers in their mutant mink-strangling ranch when Alfie O'Meagan returned from saving the universe...unfortunately, something had followed Alfie all the way home to Merrivale Center, Iowa!"

Man, if that doesn't make you kick yourself for missing the last fifteen issues!

John and Alfie had been foundlings, dropped together at an orphanage when they were both babies...by a woman who proclaimed one was good, the other bad; before spontaneously combusting. John would go on to become a fantastically skilled ninja, capable of minor psychic feats like localized gravity inversion. (His 'turn the world upside down' trick.)

Alfie, on the other hand, had seemingly unlimited reality-altering powers. He had left earth sometime back (and earth was in a sorry state, due to Alfie's meddling...) but was pursued back by the cosmic entity M'gubgub. Staggered by M'gubgub's scale and power, the unstable Alfie knew he didn't have the stones to fight him...but he knew who would.

Giving John cosmic-level power (and a costume resembling the New God Lightray) Alfie encourages him to destroy M'gubgub. For his part, M'gubgub claims earth is home to a temporal anomaly and must be "nullified." John pulls a magnified gravity reversal on him, collapsing M'gubgub on himself, but before disappearing it tells John he is the anomaly. Realizing what has happened, John punches out Alfie.

You have to expect spoilers in something called "The End" week, right? Well, I'm putting the rest behind the break; since I like this one.

As kids in a terrible orphanage, John and Alfie had used their developing powers for "could-be's," glimpses into possible futures. But, they were actually weakening reality, and the reanimated corpses of the orphanage keepers were pushing back from the future...and killed John in the past. The John that became the Nth Man was more a creation of Alfie's than anything; built around a trace of a dead boy.

While John tries to reason with Alfie, Alfie invisibly appears to John's companion Deb. Mortally wounded some issues back, she pleaded with Alfie to save her, and he did...for a favor. Calling it in, Alfie demands Deb shoot John in the back. To her credit, Deb doesn't hesitate...to do the right thing, dropping her rifle and offering her life back, if that's the cost. Smiling, John tells her she doesn't owe Alfie any more.

Desperately, Alfie claims John can't make him, since he only can travel back in time when he's pulling from the past as well. But that's because Alfie is a whiny sack. "John" is able to use the power from Alfie, to become "what the real John might have become with those same powers!" Easily opening a door to the past, John says goodbye to his mentor (and adoptive dad) and his former enemy Vavara Novikova, KGB ice-queen. Who suddenly melts, proclaiming her love for John, and jumps through to the past.

Arriving in the dead of winter, Novikara is dismayed to realize John and Alfie are infants again. Worse, she can't tell them apart--otherwise, she probably would've killed Alfie on the spot. To get them out of the cold, she runs them to the door of the orphanage, and notices the date on the newspaper is her own birthday...

We mentioned Nth Man a while back, in his odd crossover with Excalibur. Big thanks to Ron Hogan for confirming my suspicion that Larry Hama had the ending in mind from the start! With a little legwork, you could probably round up most of this series on the cheap...although I wonder what the distribution was like on this last one.

"The End" Week: Gotham Central #40!

2011-12-26T18:03:00.000-08:00

I wasn't going to blog this issue, since I wasn't a regular reader of this title, but it's got "The End" right on the cover! From 2006, Gotham Central #40, "Corrigan II (Part Three)" Written by Greg Rucka, pencils by Kano, inks by Stefano Gaudiano.

There is no dialog for the first three pages here, as the investigation of the murder of Detective Crispus Allen continues with the questioning of crime scene officer Jim Corrigan and his girlfriend. This Jim Corrigan wasn't the same one that became the Spectre, or apparently related in any way besides a distinct resemblance; the name was apparently a red herring all the way. Allen was investigating the corrupt Corrigan, who then shot him.

With an alibi, and a bit of ballistics trickery, the GCPD can't connect the murder weapon to the bullet to Corrigan, who walks. Devastated by her partner's death, and having a history with Corrigan already, Renee Montoya is spiralling down. A visit with Allen's son Jake doesn't help her out, either:

After a bit of drinking, Montoya just marches herself to Corrigan's, set on simply murdering the hell out of him. She administers a bit of the ol' pistol-whip to his girlfriend, and Corrigan cries at gunpoint until Montoya thinks better of it. The next day, as the rest of the force prepares for Allen's funeral, Montoya turns in her gun and badge, saying she's got nothing left.

Of course, Montoya hadn't hit rock bottom just yet: she would be a full-blown alcoholic by the time the Question hires her in the weekly series 52. After Vic Sage's death, she would become the new Question, and last I saw she had been given the Mark of Cain by Vandal Savage. Still, in the NuDC, her current status is unknown. Much as I'd love to have Vic back, I know a lot of work has been done with Montoya, and it'd be a shame to bench her now.

"The End" Week: Nightstalkers #18!

2011-12-26T14:25:00.000-08:00

It used to be, if a comic wasn't selling well enough to keep getting published and was cancelled, that was it, the end. But, and this will probably be a recurring theme this week, sometimes a door closes and a window opens or something. Actually, in this case, it's like jumping one sinking ship for another, but whatever. From Nightstalkers #18, "All the Threads, Unraveled" Written by Frank Lovece, pencils by Doug Wheatley, inks by Frank Turner.

Launched as part of Marvel's Midnight Sons branding, the Nightstalkers were formerly supporting characters in the classic Tomb of Dracula: Frank Drake, a descendant of Dracula himself. Hannibal King, the private eye turned vampire. And Blade, the vampire hunter. After Dracula's alleged 'final' destruction, these characters were left unused for a few years; but now re-teamed to fight other mystical threats. And vampires, making their comeback to the Marvel Universe.

That's a little dicey, since I know in Dr. Strange all the vampires on earth were wiped out. Until they weren't, I guess; since a lot of ones that were dead undead came back, and some appear here, like the Nightstalkers' former companion Taj Nital. Taj was used as a pawn in the kidnapping of Dracula's son Janus, and Blade is forced to let himself be taken to Taj's master, Varnae. Varnae is older (and grosser) than Dracula, being the prior lord of the vampires.

Another of Varnae's slaves is 'Bloodstorm,' a clone of Dracula...how that would work, I'm not even going to speculate...who has stolen Drake's anti-supernatural gun, the Exorcist. How 'Linda' worked either, don't know. Although honestly, it was like Robin's anti-mummy ray gun, in that it really didn't work as advertised that often. Drake and King are using info from Strange (who may've been in creepy, masked mode then) to track down the gun. Hannibal is on the verge of quitting the Nightstalkers, since he felt they had been lied to and put together as "chumps."

As Varnae questions Blade; Salome, the new Sorceror Supreme shows up. (Again, what was going on in Dr. Strange?) She lays down her terms to Varnae, who refuses; but she's not too concerned: the Nightstalkers arrive, and either they or Varnae are going down, so she'll have at least one less enemy. Taj is staked during the battle, but so is King, who doesn't quite die. Drake faces Varnae down, overloading the Exorcist, which explodes.

In the end, Drake and King are presumed dead, with only Drake's hand remaining. (That could've been Bloodstorm's, I suppose; if Marvel had planned on bringing them back.) At their funeral, Blade is left wondering what's next, since he didn't find Janus, and Dracula may be returning...and Blade wouldn't have to wait long, since he'd face him in his new solo series, which would last ten issues. I'm not sure how many tries Blade's had, but it's been a few.

"The End" Week: Sgt. Fury and his Howling Commandos #167!

2011-12-26T10:00:00.000-08:00

The end is the beginning is the end for this book: Sgt. Fury and His Howling Commandos #167, "Sgt. Fury and His Howling Commandos!" Written by Stan Lee, pencils by Jack Kirby, inks by Dick Ayers. This was a 1981 reprint of 1963's Sgt. Fury #1, and the last issue of the 1974 reprint series. Even though war comics went on a sharp downturn in the 80's, this cancellation was merely one of several reprint books that got the ax. Books like Fantasy Masterpieces and my beloved Marvel Super Action would be quietly phased out, the Hulk reprints in Marvel Super-Heroes would end the next month, leaving only Marvel Tales. Sgt. Fury may be the only one to get as much as a "Last Issue Special!" blurb.

Even though this story was the first full-length Fury from Stan and Jack, it's set just before D-Day. I would've thought they would start earlier in the war, then work their way there, but oh well. And it reads like just about every other Sgt. Fury story: Nick and the Howling Commandos are given an impossible, suicide mission. They are back before lunch, usually after punching several Nazis, and Nick's shirt spontaneously shreds itself. Also, even though we've got Nick shooting out of an airplane's window, a parachuting Dum-Dum Dugan taking out a German plane with a hand grenade, and a stereotypical German officer with monocle; what really pulled me out of this issue was the forty minutes or so I spent wondering if "Molotov cocktail" would've been part of the vernacular in 1944.

Still, while I enjoy the occasional Marvel war or western book, they really don't hold up against DC's offerings like Sgt. Rock or Jonah Hex. But, I'd rather go into battle with Nick and Dum-Dum than Rock and Bulldozer. You could parlay that into a cool S.H.I.E.L.D. gig after the war...

"The End" Week: Blue Beetle #24!

2011-12-26T05:49:00.000-08:00

It's the end of the year, so it's time for our third annual "The End" week, where we look at last issues of a variety of books. Some went too soon, others were taken out back behind the woodshed and put out of everyone's misery, and some were cancelled and relaunched. (And possibly more than that: the theme this year seems to be if something was good enough to get cancelled once, it should get cancelled three or four more times.) It didn't occur to me until some time later, that I probably could've bought the last issues, pre-52 relaunch, of a ton of DC books and called it good, but nah.

I'll keep an eye on it, but please excuse any repetition: some of this week's posts were written all at once, a couple might be leftover from last year, and some as I happened to find them. We've got at least seventeen last issues lined up already, so stay tuned!

Today, a book I was reading at least occasionally, but wasn't there for the last issue: from 1988, Blue Beetle #24, "If at first, you don't succeed...!" Written by Len Wein, pencils by Don Heck, embellishment by Danny Bulanadi. Although Beetle was popular in JLI, like his pal Booster he wasn't able to carry a solo book as well. Which is a shame, since in JLI Beetle would eventually become almost a parody of himself, here he was competent, if unspectacular, not unlike the book itself.

This issue is a very bad day for Ted Kord: his dad shows up to take back control of Kord, Inc. I'm not sure Thomas Kord had been mentioned before, or since, and I'm 90% sure Beetle's creator Steve Ditko would've had Ted build his company up from nothing. Although Ted points out he "rebuilt this company from the little hole-in-the-wall research operation you left behind, into a major multi-national conglomerate," his secretary/terrible love interest Melody tattled to his dad about his reoccurring disappearances, to become Blue Beetle.

Meanwhile, Carapax, the indestructible man...y'know, he's just a big robot. I think he was created by Ted's evil uncle, and the old Blue Beetle died stopping him; until an archaeologist dug it up then transferred his consciousness to it. Ted had dumped him in the ocean a couple issues back, but the robot merely walked to Chicago, following a bug planted on the Bug, Beetle's airship.

Carapax demolishes Ted's secret hideout, then most of Kord Industries. Beetle drops a building on him, but even that doesn't stop him. Finally, Carapax attacks Beetle in the Bug, but Ted sets course over Lake Michigan, arms the self-destruct, and bails out; sacrificing the Bug to finally blow up Carapax. Returning to the wreckage of Kord, Inc, Ted as much as tells his dad and Melody to cram it, leaving Chicago behind. Apparently, Ted didn't have the traditional executive 'golden parachute' either, since he would be consistently broke for the next few years of JLI. (It's funnier that way.)

Perhaps unintentionally, it seems whenever Blue Beetle wasn't treated as a joke, and was heroic and effective, something terrible would happen. We'll be getting to Countdown to Infinite Crisis at some point on 80-page Thursdays...I'm not looking forward to it.

"How Deadpool saved assisted didn't wreck had Christmas."

2011-12-25T05:34:00.000-08:00

It's not a perennial holiday classic...yet; but I rerun this one every Christmas.

As usual, click to unwrap, er, enlarge. Not sure of the setup? The first strip's here.

Have a great Christmas, and remember, it's tacky to return gifts Christmas day, even if the stores are open...starting tomorrow, "The End" Week! We look at a ton of last issues, so we should probably say 'spoiler warning' somewhere. Oops.

"On the Day of his Return."

2011-12-23T04:54:00.000-08:00

A rather ominious sounding title, from DC's brief sci-fi anthology book Time Warp #3, "On the Day of his Return" Story by Dan Mishkin and Gary Cohn, art by Steve Ditko. It's a good one for the season...

Starting Monday, "The End" week, where we look at a pile of last issues and cancelled books. It's a festival of cancellation, although I still have a stack of issues I could post for it...

80-Page Thursdays: Marvel Holiday Special 1993!

2011-12-22T05:54:00.000-08:00

For the next stretch, as long as I can find them, every Thursday we'll check out an 80-page comic! Not 64, not 100, 80-page giants only! Today we've got a book that may be 84 pages, depending on how you count it, and is cover-dated the wrong year: 199392's Marvel Holiday Special! This was the second of the ten or so Marvel's done since 1991, and not too shabby. Featuring stories from Ann Nocenti, Stan Lee, Fabian Nicieza, and more; with art by Tom Grindberg, Tom Morgan, Steve Lightle, and more. Larry Hama and Michael Golden start things out with "Zounds O' Silence!" A fun Wolverine silent story.
After a New Warriors story from Nicieza and Darick Robertson and a Spidey tale from Stan Lee and Steve Lightle; Carl Potts and Rik Levins bring us a fun Punisher short where Microchip bets Frank he can't go 48 hours without killing or hurting anyone. Then Peter David, John Hebert, and Mike DeCarlo deliver probably my favorite Doc Samson story, ever: "Revisionist History," wherein the doctor tries to tell a yeshiva class the story of Chanukah. And fails spectacularly. (It's kind of sad, though, I honestly have read more about the history of Krypton than I have about Jewish culture...)

Jim Starlin and Ron Lim revisit Thanos--the mad Titan, the death worshipper, the big bad--in "Yule Memory." Refitting an old hideout, his robots find a box of Christmas decorations and a child's doll; remnants from the childhood of Gamora, the most dangerous woman in the universe. While training her as an assassin, Thanos had still tried to raise Gamora as a normal childhood, with a birthday and holidays. And when an old foe tries to kill him, Thanos realizes how much that helped her...but that she will turn against him someday.

After an Iron Man story, the issue ends with an Ann Nocenti Daredevil piece that is nowhere near as depressing as DD's usual Christmas stories. Thank goodness. Solid issue, this one, and you should be able to find it with a little effort.

Nobody buys "she's my niece," ever.

2011-12-21T05:00:00.000-08:00

While it's nice to get a figure of a new character, Young Justice's Artemis had a lot of warpage from the pose she was packed in. You expect better from a $20 figure. (I got it on sale, but the point stands.)

OK, it wasn't this bad.

2011-12-20T05:01:00.000-08:00

Last week, the Colbert Report mentioned that recent polls showed a lot of Americans felt 2011 was the worst year, ever. I don't know that I'd agree, although there was some rough stuff for me personally this year. And then Saturday, on my way to mail Christmas presents, I was in an accident and my car was probably totaled. (Haven't heard back from my insurance yet, but most likely.) I'm fine, the driver and passengers in the other truck are too, but it was a brief but somewhat spectacular crash: my airbag didn't go off, but the truck's tire ended up in somebody's yard.

Hopefully, I'll be able to get a new, used car if mine is done for. I'll miss it, though. But, this is a blog about comics and not my feelings or any of that business; so the first book I thought of, once I had calmed down enough I could think of comics again...wasn't this one, but the first one I found: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #30, "Sky Highway" Written and drawn by Rick Veitch.

It's a fun, weird one-shot: the Turtles and their pal Casey Jones go for a drive to the woods to eat some fast-food (one points out, they have to go out of their way for privacy) but they encounter the Mutato-Heads, bizarre motorheads from a 'cloverleaf dimension,' nothing but highways and cars and speed. Glorious speed. Wanting a car to party in, the Mutatos steal Casey's '57 Bel-Air, with Raphael on the roof. His brothers and Casey give chase in the Mutatos' abandoned cars; mayhem ensues.

It reads as a love-letter to CARtoons Magazine. I'm not overly familiar with the TMNT's black-and-white days, but this issue is exquisitely weird and entertaining. Just remember: seat belts don't just save lives, I'm pretty sure I'd be eating dinner through a straw if I hadn't been wearing mine...

The Terminus Factor 3: Thor Annual #15!

2011-12-19T05:39:00.000-08:00

From Thor Annual #15, "...Can Terminus be far Behind?" Written by Roy and Dann Thomas, pencils by Herb Trimpe, inks by Mark McKenna. After a little bit of research at the GCD, it looks like the main Terminus Factor storyline was clocking in at 25 pages out of 64 an annual; so the total story would only be 125 pages. (Maybe 145 if you count the "Mediawatch" pages...which I don't, Andy Rooney appearance or not.)

Which Iron Man working on the damaged Machine Man, Tony Stark calls in the big guns. Thor even brings Hercules for good measure, to find and stop the Termini in San Francisco, while he goes into space to investigate Terminus. Herc scoffs that he cracked Termnius like a lobster, but that wasn't the real Terminus that died in the Savage Land. Herc calls B.S. on that.

The Termini attack a decommissioning nuclear power plant, and Herc gets a ride over there from some cops. Now slightly bigger than the bear one, the Termini are also repeating snippets of speech, perhaps without understanding. Hercules punches it up with them, until he slips on a puddle of fuel. Downed only for a moment, the Termini turn on each other, but aren't fighting, they're combining.

Meanwhile, above the galactic plane where Quasar dumped Terminus, Thor faces the giant; noting he can't go anywhere without his broken power-lance. Thor smashes his way into Terminus' armor, noting that he did much the same the prior year's annual--OK, he doesn't put it like that. He is then bombarded by Termnius' mind and forced to hear his origin: an evil race, on the verge of being wiped out by the Celestials, create the non-carbon Termini virus as revenge. The virus eventually evolves into the monstrous giant, which travelled to worlds spared by the Celestials to get revenge in destroying them.

When fighting the Fantastic Four, Reed Richards attached a device to Terminus that launched him to the earth's core. Terminus climbed his way out, reaching the lab of the Deviant scientist Jorro. The Deviants hate the Celestials just as much as Terminus' creators, and Jorro would wear a copy of Terminus' armor and die in the Savage Land. Terminus, meanwhile, used Jorro's equipment to recreate the virus-form, a fail-safe in case he was defeated.

After that recap, Thor is attacked by the defenses of Terminus' body; which manage to get Mjolnir away from him, then eject Thor. Terminus uses the hammer's power to regenerate his lance and head back to earth, leaving the thunder god drifting in space...

The Termini are now a singular giant, which Herc notes is similar but different than the one he beat; as Terminus arrives...

Even with four pages of origin, this one starts to get moving. Thor is taken out of action fairly quickly, but this issue also has "The Return of the Thermal Man" from Frenz and Hartle, in which Thor may solve problems on Midgard and Asgard at the same time, which may or may not be a good idea.

The next time we look at the Terminus Factor, it'll be 2012: next week will be the third annual "The End" week, and we've got a lot of last issues to look at.

Quit it, Silver Age!

2011-12-16T05:08:00.000-08:00

Actually, I can't even blame the Silver Age for this one: from 1976, Superman Family #178, "The Girl with the Heart of Steel" Written by Cary Bates, art by Kurt Schaffenberger; and I'm positive this wasn't a rebuttal to the Bionic Woman. Sure it wasn't...ok, it says "Lois becomes a Bionic Girl" right on the cover, never mind.

While a UFO lands near Smallville, Lois Lane is already in the area to interview Professor Mathers of S.T.A.R. Labs. The word 'cyberneticist' may not have existed at the time, but Mathers had made great strides in the field, fitting a trained chimp with bionic limbs, eyes, and ears. His work has progressed to the point that he was ready for human tests, and Lois volunteers.

A week later, Lois and Perry White are back in Smallville to follow up on mysterious sightings: Lois is trying to talk Perry into giving the OK for her getting bionics. Perry's against it, but when Lois is forced off the road by the sudden appearance of a mysterious machine; she reveals she's already done it. Lois now has bionic parts even in her brain, giving her super-strength, super-speed, and other powers not traditionally associated with bionics like a force-field.

Why would Lois do something like that...besides a history of terrible decisions, rash behavior, and impulsive jumps to action? Well, she remembers a date with Superman, where he seemed near to proposing...before some thugs tried to gun her down. Supes claims he wouldn't be able to "work efficiently" if he was worried about her; and Lois thinks he'll never pop the question if he thinks she's endangered.

The next day, Lois and Perry continue their investigation, as weird robots continue rushing through Smallville. Also, Lois stops an attempted assassination--of a city council member. In Smallville, which had more crime than Gotham some days. Superman is impressed, and warms up to Lois again...

...just in time for Lois to realize her implants are replacing more and more of her human parts. Now hideous, Lois refuses to stay in the lab, since she has to continue her investigation. The townspeople think she's another of the robots, but Perry recognizes her (frankly hideous) dress.

Lois finds the UFO, which was a probe sent to investigate Superboy: based on it's old information, it thought Supes would still live in Smallville. The probe is friendly enough, and while it can talk to Lois's new bionic mind, it also knows she's unhappy. Fortunately, the probe is also advanced enough to reverse her transformation. Superman helps the probe out, and Lois confesses she was losing her emotions as she became a robot. Yeah, that's why, not because she was becoming an uggo.

For good measure, this issue also featured a recap of prior Lois robots. So, so weird...

80-Page Thursdays: Starman 80-Page Giant!

2011-12-15T04:59:00.000-08:00

Every Thursday, for as long as I can keep finding them, we'll look at an 80-page comic! Not 64, not 100 pages, 80-pages only! Today, from 1999, Starman 80-Page Giant #1. Written by James Robinson, with art by John Lucas, Mike Mayhew, Wade Von Grawbadger, and more.

While I liked the issues I read, I didn't stick with Starman to the end for some reason. Maybe because the supporting cast just grew and grew as the book went on--Bobo Benetti, the entire O'Dare family through history, and an increasingly-convoluted Starman legacy. Maybe because I didn't like Jack Knight's girlfriend Sadie, who started dating him with an ulterior motive. Maybe because Tony Harris left the book...I don't remember.

But, this issue finds Jack preparing to open his new collectibles shop, and hanging out with Sadie, when the O'Dares arrive to give him a head's-up on the return of Ragdoll, who has committed four murders already. (This issue spells it "Ragdoll," while some sources prefer "Rag Doll.") Visiting his dad, original Starman Ted Knight, Jack is told this couldn't be the original Ragdoll: he died some years ago, possibly by the hands of Alan Scott, Jay Garrick, or Ted. (While he doesn't think any less of him, Jack is pretty sure his dad killed Ragdoll.)

Doing some basic detective work that the cops should've, Jack finds the murders aren't random. The four men were all in a band in their college years. Jack tracks down a surviving band member, suspecting him of being the next victim. Instead, he was Ragdoll's employer, and Jack is left under the knife, as Ragdoll is about to kill him with an African ceremonial blade. (An avid collector, Jack is dismayed to realize how much he's checking out the knife even as it's coming at him.)

Before Jack's story wraps up, the rest of the special follows the knife through different times, starting with the Shade and Scalphunter. Ted Knight sees it in action in a blackmail attempt by the Mist, but not in the way he would have expected; then super-strong bank robber Bobo Benetti swipes it in a safety-deposit box heist, but apparently loses it escaping from the mysterious Starman of 1951. Matt O'Dare gets it as a kid, then it's stolen by a friend of the alien Starman, Mikaal Tomas, with tragic results. (Tragic results that read like a really hamfisted 'just say no' PSA, but even so.)

Cool as the knife may be, Jack isn't about to let 'Ragdoll' stab him with it; and this isn't the original Ragdoll or the one that would be in the Secret Six. Jack has to chase him down, before he kills the last of the band members, then save him from drowning, since he doesn't want another dead Ragdoll on the Starman legacy.

"Evaluation Day."

2011-12-14T05:28:00.000-08:00

Use your willpower to enlarge! Or click them. Either or.

During a recent sale at Target, I bought the Guardians there--actually two Krona figures. They're actually 3 3/4-inch scale, but the Guardians are short, so I reckoned there was some wiggle room there.

The Guardians of the Universe are terrible, terrible bosses. Now, granted, they're trying to police the entire universe, and it is a big job. In fact, it's pretty much an impossible job, even with several thousand alien deputies with magic rings. But the Guardians aren't especially clear about their plans or goals, have a ton of rules and regulations that seem to contradict each other; and I suspect they might be more about order than anything. In their defense, though, it's not like anyone else was gonna take care of the universe, and a lot of their employees are loose cannons and nutjobs. I'm not gonna name any names...

Reckon the Guardians do better with a more hand's-off management style, but too often they take that to be completely unreachable. (Which, dramatically, makes more sense.) When they micro-manage? The worst.

Oh, and the "We're meanies!" line, as the Guardians bag on John, is ~~swiped from~~ a homage to an old Evan Dorkin Milk & Cheese. They have fun...

This isn't Dick's worst costume, but still...

2011-12-13T05:14:00.000-08:00

From the Titans Secret Files #2, "Interludes" Written by Jay Faerber, pencils by Paul Pelletier, inks by Bud LaRosa. The current roster of Titans--Arsenal, Donna Troy, Jesse Quick, and Tempest drop in unexpectedly on Dick in Bludhaven; catching him off-guard while he has dinner with his landlady Clancy. While the others are surprised to meet Clancy, Jesse admits she doesn't know Dick that well, but Tempest explains "Dick's life has become very compartmentalized."

Meanwhile, after Donna confides in Dick that she doesn't feel like a real person since being erased from existence by Dark Angel (more Donna Troy continuity hijinks) another Donna visits an alternate team of Titans, including Firestorm. I had thought "Nightwing" there was wearing a Blue Beetle-inspired costume, but the GCD points out it's Golden Eagle's uniform, in new colors. I suppose it might be a better costume for summer on the West Coast than hanging out in Gotham or wherever, though.

The Terminus Factor 2: Iron Man Annual #11!

2011-12-12T05:28:00.000-08:00

Today, we have the second chapter of "The Terminus Factor," Iron Man Annual #11, "If the Termini Come..." Written by Roy and Dann Thomas, pencils by Tom Morgan, inks by Randy Emberlin. It's surprisingly downbeat.

Near Seattle, Machine Man is staying at his friend Gears Garvin's shack, with his psychiatrist pal Peter Spaulding, while trying to repair the severed head of android/sometime Avenger Jocasta. The robot is a bit moody right now, claiming to no longer answer to the name "Aaron Stack," but their conversation is interrupted by the arrival of a Termini-infected bear. During their fight, the bear sheds it's fur; or rather, it falls off to reveal a new metal form. The bear eats Machine Man's arm, putting him into a form of shock. Spaulding manually activates MM's boot-jets, launching him out of danger, and the robot grabs Jocasta's head on the way out. Spaulding doesn't make it out himself, though: covering the escape, the bear kills him.

Meanwhile, Tony Stark is visiting the new Baintronics plant in Seattle, taking a tour with the company's head, Sunset Bain, aka Madame Menace. Bain, like Gears and Spaulding, were supporting characters in the old Machine Man book. Bain receives notice of a radar contact, causing Tony to raise an eyebrow that such a company would have that level of surveillance running. Tony leaves, to return as Iron Man; the contact being the still unconscious Machine Man. Iron Man had equipment to revive him at the Avengers West Coast base, and leaves them with Bain while he goes to get them.

Which is of course, dumb. Tony had no reason to distrust Bain, or to really suspect she was a super-villain, but he had to know a little something about industrial espionage. Using a machine apparently swiped from the Star Trek episode "What are little girls made of?" Madame Menace has Machine Man duplicated in a spinny machine. It's given a little more technical explanation, and it's lampshaded that she had the "Duplicatron" built to crank out android copies after they finished their own Machine Man knockoff. While she does that, though, the Termini-bear attacks her factory. Bain calls Iron Man back for help.

Fighting the bear, Tony recognizes the glazed look in its eyes from his zombification the previous chapter, and the name "Terminus" comes to his mind, even though he never met him. Trying the cooldown trick that worked last time, Tony dumps a vat of subzero-freezing liquid titanium on it--wait, shouldn't liquid metal be hot? Regardless, it doesn't work, and the increasingly-less bearlike creature absorbs the metal and grows.

Menace's crew keeps working on their duplicate, until they see the claws of the Termini and flee. A power surge revives Machine Man, who leaps into action without noticing he wakes up on a duplicating machine. (Seriously, if you woke up on that thing, you'd be afraid.) Bain, ditching her mask, is rescued by Machine Man; as Iron Man tries the opposite tack and dumps a vat of molten metal on the creature, destroying it.

Unfortunately, the bear wasn't the only infected animal out there: more metallic fish, bugs, and birds are swarming the city. Machine Man returns to his lab for repairs, to learn of Spaulding's death. As Iron Man and Machine Man rush to avenge themselves against the Termini, Jocasta is apparently forgotten; while back at Baintronics, Bain plans to release their fully owned, patented, and proprietary robot in a few months, maybe in a female form...

Along with the plotline for the annual storyline, this issue also tries to connect some dots from Machine Man's old book and his 1984 limited series set in 2020 or so. It doesn't really pan out, though, since the Marvel U. isn't full of robots now. I'm not even sure if X-51 (mistakenly called X-15 several times this issue!) would appear again after this crossover for eight years, until Cable/Machine Man. It's worth noting again, that even though he had his own series twice, a limited series, was a major character in Earth X, had creators like Barry Windsor-Smith, Jack Kirby, and Steve Ditko work on him, and is somehow an Avenger without ever serving any length of time with the team...Machine Man was never a breakout character until he started drinking.

This issue does mention a Terminus appearance in Quasar #7 that I had forgotten: Quasar and the cosmic-powered Spider-Man toss the giant into space, with Quasar taking away the powered lance he used for propulsion.

The scans this time are all Machine Man, but, well, you know what Iron Man looks like. The rest of the issue features "Mediawatch," basically retelling the Termini story from the point-of-view of news reporters. Think of it as the precursor of Front Line, and likewise kind of terrible. "Mobility," about a disabled-rights protest that nearly ends in tragedy, is better; and "The Awesome Origin of Mrs. Arbogast" is an amusing trifle--although Ditko draws Whirlwind in a modern costume, but oh well.

I actually thought I posted this before...

2011-12-09T05:35:00.000-08:00

From Spider-Man 2099 Meets Spider-Man, written by Peter David, pencils by Rick Leonardi, inks by Al Williamson. Present and future Spideys Peter and Miguel wake up in the other's time, with no explanation. Separately but together, they may be facing the end of the Heroic Age, and events that lead to the not-super future of 2099...!

Even with a bazillion Spider-Men on the toy shelves, the future Spidey of 2211 has yet to get an action figure. That makes me sad, even if he's barely appeared since.

Just a quick post today, since more of this book won't cram in the scanner; and I was sick a couple of days. Seem to be pulling out of it, just in time to do nothing all weekend. Yay!

80-Page Thursdays: Brave New World!

2011-12-08T05:13:00.000-08:00

Every Thursday, for as long as I can find more, we'll be looking at an 80-page comic! Not 64, not 100, 80-pagers! And today's kinda sucks. Sorry.

After Infinite Crisis, DC put out Brave New World #1, 80-pages for a dollar! It was a preview of six new series and limited series...none of which took off, at all. I think the most successful of the lot was the All-New Atom, which featured Grant Morrison concepts, Gail Simone writing, John Byrne art on a few issues, and lasted 25 issues. Said new Atom, Ryan Choi, was killed off by Deathstroke, in part of the ongoing pre-reboot attempt to make him seem badass again...but Ryan maybe may return in the new DC.

I'm a fan of the Creeper, but the Steve Niles version didn't do it for me. Possibly because this story continued DC's proud tradition of maybe sorta rebooting a single character, as opposed to a line-wide reboot. That and I hate the gimmick of the main character denouncing his own secret identity. Clark Kent usually doesn't have to say Superman sucks...

This issue also features Skrull-chinned J'onn J'onzz, a new batch of Freedom Fighters to replace the ones murdered in Infinite Crisis, a Shazam! story, and an OMAC intro that was actually better than I'd expected. That's even with the blue, Batman-derived robots as opposed to the good, Kirby version. A former junkie from Gotham finds himself in Vegas with a girlfriend he doesn't remember and on the run from killer robots and Superman. I don't know if the limited series that followed was any good (in fact, I'm willing to bet no, it wasn't) but that was an OK start.

"Bat-date."

2011-12-07T05:25:00.000-08:00

I have a Cheetah figure, but no proper Catwoman? That's not right! Of course, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have been able to pick up Catwoman for under five bucks. (From a local K-Mart that was closing.)

I really, really could see Batman doing this. (And why not?) But it's been hammered into me from years of reading older Batman comics: abandoned joke shops as hideouts. Museums having exhibits of priceless penguin or cat themed statuary. Double headers, double bills, double acts; all stuck-up by Two-Face. Batman could probably reduce a good percentage of crime in Gotham by eliminating those...

Why this isn't in the Sunday comics, I don't know...

2011-12-06T05:46:00.000-08:00

I got Superman Villains Secret Files #1 because it was cheap, not because I had a burning curiosity about the state of Supes' rogues' gallery circa 1998. Still, it was stronger than expected: in the lead feature, Lex Luthor recaps the origins of several villains...as a bedtime story for his baby daughter Lena. (Whatever happened to her, anyway? Brainiac 13 something? I don't know. Same thing that happens to half the newborns in comics, anyway...) For good measure, writer/artist Stuart Immonen does the story portion in a Winsor McCay style that would look just as good on the Sunday comics page. Why doesn't DC spring for tha...ah, I thought about newspaper distribution numbers and may have answered my own question.

Even though at the time the Toyman was a really creepy child murderer, and it's mentioned elsewhere this same issue; Evan Dorkin and Stephen DeStefano apparently didn't get the memo and delivered a fun catalog piece instead. Bless 'em. The "Chatty Patsy Talking Ransom Doll," which you could actually have made to look like the kidnapped victim, is all kinds of wrong...and really pretty hysterical.

Superman sometimes doesn't have the strongest villain roster--I often think Metallo and Doomsday are classic Supes villains by default more than anything. (And Doomsday is coming up on twenty years old? Crap!) The Atomic Skull revamp was an interesting notion, with a faux movie serial background, but unfortunately made him a tragic character rather than a proper bad guy. The Cyborg has the plus of an interesting origin (psuedo-Reed Richards loses his four and his humanity, later passes himself off as Cyborg Superman, racks up a proper body count) but loses something every time he comes back from a certain end. Maxima and Obsession are two more attempts to add a female rogue for Supes; and two more misfires. Then we get down to Rock, Mainframe, and Riot: dregs.

The Terminus Factor: Captain America Annual #9!

2011-12-05T05:46:00.000-08:00

Every so often, I like to blog a series of crossover annuals. Little secret: it's an easy way for me to do several posts at once! We covered Citizen Kang, JLApe, Lifeform was mostly just mentioned in passing...I would love to cover The Evolutionary War or the Atlantis Attacks annuals, since I had those when they came out, but have apparently lost or sold some of them. And I was going to do DC's Ghosts Annuals, but was missing three of the eight. Actually, I can't find the Flash one; I got that whole series from the quarter bins, but may not have even had the Green Lantern or Aquaman ones.

All this preamble, to say we'll be covering The Terminus Factor instead: a five annual 1990 crossover from Marvel, featuring the Avengers versus the giant alien invader. Created by John Byrne, Terminus was an armored monster, a destroyer of worlds, believed dead at the time after destroying the Savage Land in Avengers #257. The Savage Land would get better, but that'd leave Ka-Zar out in the cold for a few years...I want to guess that was part of an editorial push to get rid of or prune down some of the more fantastic elements of the Marvel Universe, since a giant hidden jungle with dinosaurs isn't 'realistic.' Destroying it with a giant alien totally is...

So, we open with Captain America Annual #9, "You Are What You Eat" Written by Roy Thomas and Dann Thomas, pencils by Jim Valentino, inks by Sam de la Rosa. Tony Stark throws Cap into a volcano. OK, actually Cap is serving as anti-sabotage backup, for Dr. Ramona Napier's test voyage of Persephone I, an exploratory capsule. The mission goes awry, when a mysterious egg-shaped object releases a "phosphorescent gunk" and the capsule loses control. Iron Man arrives to assist. (Even if convection probably would've cooked Cap...)

The gunk landed in the river, just in time to infect some fish, for the Georgeville annual trout feast. Cap and Ramona are both a bit seasick from the rough ride in the capsule, but Cap notices Iron Man having a bite, even if he can't see his face. (Tony supposedly wasn't IM at the time; Cap, the Avengers, and everyone else is still pretty sure he is.) They're the only two to avoid infection, and zombification. The townspeople, and Iron Man, go berserk, attacking Cap and each other.

One rips out a power terminal and electrocutes himself, and Cap saves a small boy from the same. Shoving the boy into an ice bucket, Cap fights on, but the boy returns to normal from the cold. Luring the townspeople and Iron Man up to the snowline, Cap then has to take a beating from Iron Man until the cold snaps him back as well. Still, they worry that they haven't seen the last of the gunk, and they haven't. Next week: Iron Man Annual #11!

This chapter felt a little light, just a bit of set-up. Most of the rest of the issue is "A Soldier's Story," a Randall Frenz/Mark Bagley WWII Cap and the Howling Commandos tale featuring the Red Skull and the kidnapped Howard Stark. Often portrayed as a complete monster in flashbacks in Iron Man, he does get a heroic moment here against the Nazis.

This is why I get one picture of myself a year...

2011-12-03T16:06:00.000-08:00

Got my Toys for Tots donation in for Geeks for Tots! Donate today, and be sure to enter to win over there! Thank grud it shows something about toys on that box, so it doesn't look like they're going in the recycling...oddly, I brought that in there, too: a good lump of plastic bags. That went in the recycling, if I remember properly.

Anyway, I got a Thor figure, a Trio Superman set, and an Iron Man. I should've got a cheap Green Lantern figure at Target and thrown it in, but the selection was a little light. Have a good weekend!

Yeah, that's really not an all day job.

2011-12-02T05:24:00.000-08:00

Scan (mostly) from Image's Micronauts #8, "Invasion, part one" Story by Dan Jolley, pencils by Steve Kurth, inks by Barb Schulz.

I have a couple issues of the 2002 Image/Devil's Due relaunch/reimagining of the Micronauts from the quarter bins. Even with the toys from Palisades back on the shelves (we checked out Pharoid during Retro Toy Week!) I think the book was swamped, lumped together with other 80's toy relaunches about the same time, like ThunderCats and Voltron.

This month, Earthman Ryan Archer and his crew of rebels, the Micronauts; travel through the Rift back to earth. They arrive, about three inches tall; and big bad Baron Karza is about forty steps ahead of them in his invasion of Earth. Plus, as you can see her, he's putting some smiles on people's faces...

Sorry. Still, the little one standing in that guy's brain looks enthusiastic about his work.

I haven't read the rest of the series, and couldn't even tell you if it ended properly or merely cancelled. And I actually had something else planned for today, but I didn't want to end up with two Superman posts in a row. That one'll keep...

80-Page Thursdays: Action Comics #600!

2011-12-01T05:09:00.000-08:00

For the next stretch, as long as I can find them, every Thursday we'll check out an 80-page comic! Not 64, not 100, 80-page giants only! If everything is still rolling along, this is the ~~fourteenth~~ 80-Page Thursday (EDIT: Fifteenth!) and there's still more to come. Keep in mind, this is by no stretch of anything a definitive look at 80-Page comics, just a crapshoot of what I have lying around now. And today, one I had as a kid: Action Comics #600, celebrating fifty years of Superman! With John Byrne, George Perez, Curt Swan, Mike Mignola, and more!

If the DC Reboot hasn't reached this point yet, it probably will, where Superman and Wonder Woman try a date seemingly just because everyone thinks its a good matchup. Hopefully, the Nu-date goes better than this post-Crisis one, where Supes plants a really long and really uncomfortable kiss on Wonder Woman straightaway. (To be fair, we did see Hal Jordan show WW his chest within seconds of meeting her once.)

Although they talk their way back to first-date territory, their date is interrupted by Hermes appearing to Diana, since he's gotten the tar kicked out of him by Darkseid, who's taken over Olympus. (Granted, I don't read a ton of Wonder Woman, but it was weird to see Diana kowtowing to the Greek gods here...) Diana flies through a portal, but Supes won't let a little thing like this wreck his date, and follows. The two are separated, so Darkseid has a plan...
Um, if it's the simplest and most obvious of deceptions, why are you surprised when it doesn't work? Kalibak and Amazing Grace pass themselves off as Supes and WW, respectively; fight our heroes for a moment, reveal themselves, then switch places so Superman and Wonder Woman are beating on each other. At least, that's the plan, which might've worked if they were really, really dense. Supes and Diana fake-fight their way to Darkseid, who's steamed about that trick not working; but gets really bent out of shape when Diana explains the Gods let Darkseid take an empty, deserted Olympus.

After ducking out, Darkseid tries to blow up Olympus, which also fails. As does Superman's date, since after all this god business, he feels Diana is out of his league, since he's just a simple farmboy at heart. Diana doesn't necessarily agree, but they part as friends. I know some people can't stand the idea of a Superman-Wonder Woman couple, or Superman with anyone besides Lois, or apparently Wonder Woman with anyone; but the idea doesn't bother me. I would guess that they would be an early superhero couple, date a few times, but it wouldn't work out...at first. Years later, though, I could see something happening. Best guess.

Also this issue: two-fisted reporter Lois Lane...is hit like a ton of bricks by the idea of a Superman/Wonder Woman couple. See? Told you some people can't stand the idea. Then, Superman saves his pal Jimmy Olsen from a toxic waste explosion, and Jimmy gets to return the favor, as Supes is debilitated by the sudden arrival of radiation from Krypton! Man, I think it took writers a long, long time to really work out post-Crisis Jimmy Olsen: they still wanted him to be Superman's best friend, but weren't really sure how to work that, and everyone wanted to see Superman and Batman hang out, anyway. I know there were Jimmy Olsen stories with him and the Newsboy Legion or some damn thing, but they were never my favorites...this issue, he saves Superman, and goes for help, which he doesn't appear to ever return with...

Meanwhile, Lex Luthor has a little chat with Maggie Sawyer of the Metropolis Special Crimes Unit. Luthor wants to talk truce, meaning blackmail the hell out of Sawyer. I'm not 100% sure I realized the subtext at the time, but Luthor had discovered she was a lesbian. Sawyer could give a rat's ass, and gets a treat when an angry Luthor bangs his fist on his desk and is rewarded with agonizing pain: the Kryptonite ring he had been wearing may not have been as harmless to humans as he had thought...

Meanwhile, the issue's final story is a last callback to the team-up nature of Action Comics for the last year or so, since the next issue would begin Action Comics Weekly. Man-Bat is enjoying a happy evening of batting about or whatever, when he stumbles across the now very Kryptonite addled Superman, who is somewhat understandably terrified by this bat thing in his face. Nice Mignola art, there, and a cameo from Hawkman, who would help Supes get to where Krypton was...(Don't ask where this fits in Man-Bat, or for that matter Hawkman's continuity.)

Good stuff, and I'm reasonably certain this issue sold a bazillion copies, so I don't think it's terribly difficult to find on the cheap. I may or may not have the one I bought in 1988, but I did have a quarter box copy. Dig one up!

"Put your hand inside the puppet head."

2011-11-30T05:21:00.000-08:00

Man, I hadn't done a Deadpool strip since...a brief one for Retro Toy Week back in April? Fun as they are to do, I always forget how much I hate the yellow fill on his balloons. (In fact, on the last page, the fill didn't want to take, so bagged it...) I haven't read a lot of Deadpool lately, although I would love to have Legends-scale Deadpool Corps and Evil Deadpool.

I've had the puppets--little thumb-wrestlers from a vending machine--for some time; as well as the idea for this strip. Couldn't quite come up with a good reason for Deadpool to be doing a puppet show, except, duh, he's crazy. I need to bin Franklin, Timmy, and that kid from Secret Saturdays together, since they're my default little kids yet it always takes me a while to figure out where I put them.

And if you don't recognize the title reference, check after the break!

The last week or so:

2011-11-29T05:06:00.000-08:00

Over the long weekend, I was offline for most of it. I managed to catch a bit of reading, after hitting up The Book Exchange in Missoula, MT. (For quite a while when I was in college, I bought most of my comics there.)

First, Crooked Little Vein by Warren Ellis. It's a fun, fast-moving, hilarious read, that's inappropriate for just about anybody. A private eye with a knack for stumbling face-first into the worst perversions you can think of, is hired by the heroin-addicted chief of staff, to find the secret Constitution of the United States. It's not as hard as it sounds, after he realizes the book is "currency for perverts."

If this had been written by, say, Chuck Palahniuk, this material would doubtless be soul-crushingly demoralizing. But Ellis is really a big softie. There is a moment I particularly liked, where the hero didn't necessarily want to roll America back to old-school conservative whitebreadism; but thought a blind guy raping his guide dog was a bit too far...

Since you already know I'm a big Hellboy fan, it should be no surprise that I enjoy the novels as well. While they don't reveal any big secrets about the character, the fun is in the foes, and the main characters' interaction with new characters. Hellboy: the Fire Wolves (written by Tim Lebbon) does well with both: monsters escaped from Vesuvius, the ghost of a fallen demon hunter, and a young Italian woman who escaped her family and now has to escape the family curse.

In the same vein, Thomas E. Sniegoski's Lobster Johnson novel the Satan Factory has a great villain (a disgraced mob doctor, who finds a demon's bones that ooze monster-making blood) and a good supporting character (a framed and broken ex-cop) but Sniegoski doesn't get the luxury of interaction with the main character. The Lobster remains a mysterious, aloof figure; even to his agents: in the end, you don't gain any more understanding of him than when you came in, but that's rather true for most of his tales. Lobster Johnson's an enigma even now; but check out the link: as usual, the cover design is a winner.

I also got Shocker Toys ShadowHawk for cheap at gohastings.com. I had ordered the Watchmen Nite Owl as well, but they sent the classic version (old guy, short pants) when I ordered the modern, armored one. Might send it back, but in their defense, it was still cheaper than cheap. I am hard-pressed to remember if I've ever read any ShadowHawk comics...or even appearances...and his helmet inexplicably reminds me of Phantom of the Paradise, a movie I know of but have never seen. Still, while he's a little bare-bones, he's a good figure.

In Montana, I picked up Star Wars: the Clone Wars volume one--the Genndy Tartakovsky animated series, that predates the current, more computer-animated one. They're shorter, 'micro-episodes,' and I know I've seen some of them, but not many. Maybe I should just sneak in an episode here and there, then. Got it for two bucks, and got them to throw in the old PS1 game Hellboy: Asylum Seeker for free. While it's archaic, by all accounts it's not very good. But I slogged my way all the way to the end of Evil Dead: Hail to the King, so apparently my standards on the low end for games. (If you ever try that Evil Dead game, it's definitely enjoyable if you're a Bruce Campbell fan, but the controls and the camera are iffy; and when I played it, it was so dark it was like being in the forest in the middle of the night...with a bucket on your head. That may have just been my TV, in retrospect.)

Lastly, my parents are loving their iPads, so my mom passed me her Sony Reader thing. I downloaded a fair pile of free stuff from Project Gutenberg: some Edgar Rice Burroughs that I hadn't read yet, a couple Philip K. Dick shorts ("The Defenders," "The Gun") and Robert E. Howard's "Red Nails." OK, that last I've read more than once before, but I'm now in the market for any free stuff I can find, so any hints, let me know.

Enemy Ace would've had too much class for that...

2011-11-28T05:04:00.000-08:00

Amazing High Adventure #5 is the only issue of that series I've ever seen, which is a bit of a shame. From 1986, it was an anthology book that seemed pretty far afield from the usual super-hero fare. This issue opens with "The Skyhook" Written by Mike Baron, art by John Ridgeway. Post World War I, a young pilot and his sister lose their father to a gangster and his torpedo, the Kraut. The pilot recognizes the Kraut as a former German ace, from a run-in with him in the skies over Verdun.

The pilot and his partner hatch a scheme to get back at the gangster with a robbery, and a daring escape via skyhook, a trick they had been prepping for flying exhibitions. Everything goes to plan, except they aren't the only ones with a plane lying around...

This issue also features a straight retelling of David and Goliath, from Baron and Tomosina Cawthrone-Artis; and a tale of rebellion in British-ruled India from Bill Mantlo and Steve Purcell that's very different from anything I had seen from either of those creators before. On the other hand, the last story, "My Brother's Keeper" is exactly what you would expect from aviation fan Ken Steacy: during the Cold War, a Soviet spy tries to commandeer a flying wing on a test flight, but may have forgotten about the attached parasite plane. For a little extra drama, the parasite plane's pilot is the brother of the wing's captain, and scared of heights when he's not in a plane.

Milligan and Fegredo may not have had Morricone in mind here...

2011-11-25T04:52:00.000-08:00

...ah, maybe they did. From Weird Western Tales #4, "What a Man's Gotta Do" Written by Peter Milligan, illustrated by Duncan Fegredo. While watching old westerns, a put-upon, hen-pecked realtor gets the idea that he needs to get in touch with his inner cowboy. With mixed results...

Damn, I have the rest of this series somewhere. This issue also features a brutal revenge story from Bruce Jones and Cully Hamner, "Savaged," and "Bury Me Not on the Lone Prairie" from Jen Van Meter and Dave Taylor: on a cattle drive, three cowpokes try to press on after a fourth dies of natural causes, and they try to get his body to the nearest town for a decent burial. Slapstick ensues, but with a tragic ending.

Anthologies are often hit-and-miss; but I thought Vertigo did all right on this one. And after the break: some Ennio Morricone, which I probably should've had at the start of the post, but I couldn't embed "The Ecstacy of Gold," so this'll do.

Huh, Morricone composed the score for John Carpenter's the Thing, another movie that like The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, I'll always stop and watch.

80-Page Thursdays: Green Lantern 80-Page Giant #2!

2011-11-24T05:05:00.000-08:00

For the next stretch, as long as I can find them, every Thursday we'll check out an 80-page comic! Not 64, not 100, 80-page giants only! Today, Green Lantern 80-Page Giant #2! Featuring "Team-Ups from A to Z!" and stories from Priest, Abnett and Lanning, Mark Waid, Marv Wolfman, Chuck Dixon, and more; art by M.D. Bright, Oscar Jimenez, Andy Kuhn, Mike McKone, and more.

Priest and Bright open with Aquaman and Kyle at the bottom of the sea, with an alien artifact, altered aging, and a trapped French sub. Next, Kyle tries to teach art appreciation to Big Barda, as a museum is robbed. Then, one of Kyle art teachers runs afoul of Deadman when he's accused of drug dealing; and Kyle visits Guy Gardner's Warrior bar.

Mark Waid and Mike McKone pit Kyle against Hector Hammond...and Impulse.

Plastic Man and Kyle have a run-in with a mysterious green shape-changer at the JLA Watchtower; then Steven Grant and Matt Smith send Kyle to Zatanna's magic show, where they face a mysterious attacker, a power-swap, and don't really seem to hit it off, at all.

A lot of fun. I know I have at least one of the other two Green Lantern 80-Page Giants, so maybe we'll see another later.

"Slow week..."

2011-11-23T04:26:00.000-08:00

While I know I have a couple of his appearances, including Tales of the Green Lantern Corps (starring Hal MFing Jordan) #3, I had no particular love for Nekron. Until I got his figure for cheap, like about five bucks. He's a creepy death guy, and I have some plans for him later...that I have yet to get around to, since I actually bought Nekron in July.

Anyway, while I'll be out for Thanksgiving, we still have an 80-pager tomorrow; and probably something on Friday that I should maybe look into doing now. Have a good holiday!

Still no idea why Thor remembers Loki or Odin fondly...

2011-11-22T05:16:00.000-08:00

So, we blogged about Rage of Thor a while back; and today we've got another Thor comic set back in the day, well before his first appearance in Journey into Mystery #83. The Thor of then was arrogant and headstrong, although not quite to the point where Odin would banish him to earth; especially since Thor appears to be Asgard's main line of defense against the frost giants.

Now, this issue got confusing for me when the golden apples of Asgard were brought up. I understood that the Norse gods needed to eat them to maintain their immortality and power, OK. And Thor was stockpiling his, only eating them when he knew a big fight was coming; fine. But the only goddess that could harvest the apples was known by many names: Freyja, Iduna, Gefn...Enchantress. What? That's a new one: Amora, the Enchantress, is a straight-up Marvel creation, with no analog in the traditional myths. Iduna had actually appeared in Thor comics before, but the wikipedia entry points out the various Ragnarok cycles may adjust the continuity.

While Thor leaves to "hunt giants for the winter," a mason approaches the city with an offer, to repair a defensive wall crushed by a falling giant. All he wants in exchange, is the Enchantress for his wife. The gods are outraged, but Loki points out the opportunity for a wager: bet the mason that he can't complete a year's work in six months. If he can, why, he can have the Enchantress, the sun, and the moon. Which apparently the Norse gods could give away. The Enchantress is understandably not thrilled about being collateral in a bet, but no one asks her.

The mason works steadfastly, impossibly fast. As the deadline nears, an angered Odin tells Loki to clean up his mess. Distracting the mason's horse, Loki ensures the mason comes up three bricks short of victory. Enraged, the mason reveals himself to be a frost giant, bent on revenge against Asgard. That doesn't go over so well, since Thor shows up and kills him stone dead. Possibly smashing the Hel outta that wall again.

Some time later, Loki, exiled for his most recent crimes, wanders the frozen wastelands of...I don't know, Niffleheim or somewhere. A giant eagle offers to feed Loki and return him to Asgard, in exchange for a bride: the Enchantress. Loki obliges, and the giant eagle turns out to be a frost giant; for her part the Enchantress is pissed for falling for it again.
Without anyone able to harvest the golden apples, the gods of Asgard begin to lose their strength. Loki (somehow welcomed back into the fold) points out Thor's been hording apples, so Odin and the gods go to demand Thor share with them. Thor sends a hot concubine to tell them 'no.' At which point, Heimdall points out he saw Loki with the Enchantress. Odin gives Loki a Homer-style choking before sending him out to rescue her.

Forcing himself to man up, Loki attempts just that, noting she is hot enough to kidnap for himself. The escape doesn't go well, but Odin finally convinces Thor to pitch in, which he does. Although he's not thrilled about having to...Odin notes Thor is becoming cruel and cold, and something would have to be done about him. Except Thor's not the one that almost lost the Enchantress in a bet, was completely unprepared for emergency famine, and listens to the son that lies to everyone, always.

From Thor: Ages of Thunder #1, written by Matt Fraction, art by Patrick Zircher, Khari Evans and Victor Olazaba.

This issue: Superman beats up a guy in a skirt...

2011-11-21T04:44:00.000-08:00

I've read only a couple of issues from the crossover Our Worlds at War (and I think I blogged the Flash and Green Lantern's issues before) and had to look up on wikipedia who died in that one: Aquaman, but he came back. Guy Gardner, except that may have been a mistake, he was fine. Hippolyta? No, she came back too. OWaW couldn't even kill off the Kents or Lois Lane's dad.

Steel may have been considered dead, or merely MIA: he was trapped in some kind of Apokolips-built armor. Which leads to today's issue, the one-shot Superman versus Darkseid: Apokolips Now! Written by Mark Schultz, pencils by Mike McKone, inks by Marlo Alquiza and Cam Smith. Supes challenges Darkseid, one on one, for John Henry Iron's life. Darkseid doesn't buy it, thinking (or acting) like Superman is gunning for the throne of Apokolips.

After getting a Mother Box from Big Barda--who strikes me as one of the few heroes, who if you tell her this isn't her concern, don't get involved, she'll take you at your word and leave you to it then--Superman has the Eradicator, Superboy, Krypto, and a pair of Supergirls cover Apokolips so Darkseid's forces can't interfere. (Two Supergirls? This was from the very tail end of Peter David's Supergirl run, with the Linda Danvers/angel version and a Silver-agey version of Kara Zor-El.) Natasha Irons, John's niece, disobeys Supes and armors herself up so she can find her uncle.

Meanwhile, Superman quite simply whups Darkseid. By working his face, Supes blinds Darkseid, beating him until his eyes swell shut and taking the Omega Effect out of the equation. Supes offers to keep the fight under his hat, if he gets Steel; and the injured hero is recovered...although Nat seems to think she is going to be Steel, going forward.

The Superman 10-Cent Adventure and accompanying new direction was advertised in the back of this issue, so this was a bit of a reset. Still, I like Mike McKone's art; and this issue moves along even while rehashing Our Worlds of Whatnot...

David, Bob, Ron...sorry.

2011-11-18T05:03:00.000-08:00

Page (mostly) from Iron Man: Legacy of Doom #4, "Chapter 4: Knightmare's End" Plotted by David Michelinie and Bob Layton, script by Michelinie, pencils by Ron Lim, inks by Layton. Got the series for four bucks the other day. It might seem a bit old-school to some, tying into Iron Man #149-150 (they're great!) and #249-250 (they're OK.) Tony is recycling some old armors, when he finds a data recording he doesn't remember...featuring Dr. Doom.

Claiming humanity is at stake, Doom summons Iron Man to Latveria, which is currently under siege by rebels. Doom is unfazed: a little neutron radiation will clear that right up! Tony is forced to turn back the rebels to save their lives, then joins Doom on a trip to hell...where Doom double crosses him and trades him to Mephisto! And that's just the first issue! The rest of the series features Merlin, Tony's evil dad maybe, Morgana le Fay, and the evil eyeful up there.

Unlike the regular Iron Man book for a stretch there, Tony actually gets to do heroic things in this series; although in the end, disgruntled and cheesed, Tony sets up a little revenge that would be seen in #250. Not on Doom, even: Tony knows Doom is a snake, so he's never really surprised when Doom betrays him.

EDIT: Bad timing on my part. From Bleeding Cool, as Bob Layton may be done with Iron Man now...

New Bastards up at Poe's!

2011-11-17T11:45:00.000-08:00

New Bastards of the Universe at Poe Ghostal's Points of Articulation! This one's for Geeks for Tots, a great cause that helps you out as well! Check it out, and get cracking on the donations!

Also Infinite Hollywood is going BIG: they're matching donations! (When you make a donation, they make one as well!) Let them know when you donate too!

80-Page Thursdays: Superboy #147!

2011-11-17T06:03:00.000-08:00

For the next stretch, as long as I can find them, every Thursday we'll check out an 80-page comic! Not 64, not 100, 80-page giants only! Today, a reprint of some reprints, with the replica edition of Superboy #147. Featuring stories from Jerry Siegel, Robert Bernstein, Curt Swan, George Papp, Jim Mooney; and a previously unpublished story by E.Nelson Bridwell and Pete Costanza.

The constant rebooting of the Legion of Super-Heroes has become a joke over the years; which bugs me since the LoSH was never that hard for me to follow because of cheap reprints, like DC's Blue Ribbon Digests. This issue features a quick recap of the team's origin, the adult Legion and Superman vs. the Legion of Super-Villains story, and how Ultra Boy and Supergirl joined the team.

Oh, and the Legion of Super-Pets. Why not!

"My Lunch with Stel."

2011-11-16T05:14:00.000-08:00

Where did this one come from? I have no idea where the milk came from, but the lemon is from a Stargate: Atlantis figure; and the idea for this strip is probably that old episode of Gilligan's Island where the castaways think they're going to get scurvy. It makes scurvy out to be a total death sentence, like you were more apt to die of scurvy than cancer, if you didn't eat some freaking oranges like right now. I just had a big glass of...orange something, and some pills that hopefully were vitamins.

I was going to say I was pretty sure Kyle would've watched Gilligan's Island, except post-reboot he's probably too young. Unless kids still watch it, but with so many channels there should be something better to watch...for the fifth time. And between scurvy and that one with the giant spider, I'm pretty sure that show scarred me emotionally on more than one occasion. Super.

Oh, what the hell, Silver Age?

2011-11-15T04:59:00.000-08:00

I'm cold, my head hurts, I could sleep for fourteen straight hours; but I still had time to be psychologically scarred by "Beware of the Bug-Belle!" Reprinted in Superman Family #173, originally from Superman's Girl Friend, Lois Lane #69, story by E. Nelson Bridwell, art by Kurt Schaffenberger. Creeped out to the point I have only the vaguest idea what the rest of the story was about.

I got a couple issues of Superman Family from the dollar boxes, and wouldn't you know it, Lois has a creepy transformation in the other one, too. Well, not as creepy as bug-Lois, but still, later for that one.

Out today, so...

2011-11-14T05:06:00.000-08:00

Please enjoy this Kyle Baker cartoon from Marvel Age #59. We had seen another one of these some time ago, but I have no idea how many he did. See?