Not the best toy show haul ever, but hardly the worst.

I did get one score I won't mention here, but I did get a couple decent picks at the most recent toy show. Like this giant Wookie!

Aw, that picture's a little fuzzy...sorry. Pretty sure that's a Star Wars Collector Series 12-inch Chewbacca in Chains, and it's more of a stuffed toy than an action figure. I don't think he really has joints! Back in the 90's, there were a ton of Star Wars and Star Trek 12-inch figures, that were super mass-market: they weren't exactly Hot Toys quality, but they weren't the hard plastic bludgeons with five points of articulation that you find on the shelves today.

This one was down to $20, so kind of had to: a Toy Biz Marvel Legends Destroyer! Back from series 15 in 2006, the Build-a-Figure MODOK wave. The OAFE review will break it down for you, and we've had a Marvel Select and a Marvel Legends of it since, but I had never seen one that cheap, so...I got a cheap and still carded Hallow's Eve from the same vendor, but he had a ton of old Toy Biz pre-Legends stuff up too. I was hoping to find a Madame Web, but no dice.

Still, it's always a bit of fun to wander around and see stuff. And of course, I did get a stack of comics! We'll maybe look at one tomorrow. 

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I've got a small bin of Age of Apocalypse figures, waiting for a callback.

I'm not very far ahead plotwise right now, but the current "homemade posts" storyline with Kurt, Satana, and the X-Force Nightcrawler was pretty obviously building up to a trip back to the Age of Apocalypse, right? Or, should I say "over to" instead of "back to," because I think in current continuity the AoA is its own world, rather than just being a blip in the timeline that gets reset. Somehow, it even got a lower number! The AoA is Earth-295, while of course traditional Marvel continuity is 616. 

But, here's a little story problem I've been trying to sort out: the comics with the Age of Apocalypse started in X-Men #40, published November 1994 and a cover date of January 1995. We're going to go with 1995 because it's a better number to work with and the bulk of the storyline would then have taken place in an altered version of that same year. Legion had travelled back in time, about 20 years, and accidentally kills his father, Charles Xavier, creating a paradox that changes history. Apocalypse had watched that fight, and decided mutants were ready to take over the world: Magneto didn't have Xavier's temperment to keep trying to prove mutantkind's goodness to humanity, and may have been a bit more isolationist than Charles, creating the opening for Apocalypse to conquer North America. (If I recall correctly, Apocalypse also inadvertently pre-empted most of the "Marvels" that way: the Fantastic Four never went up on that rocket, Namor probably died a bum, Captain America was probably still in an iceberg, etc.) 

All well and good. Except! Marvel is on a sliding timeline. The events that caused the AoA--and thus, the AoA itself--weren't thirty years ago; they were maybe five years ago, seven tops! This does weird things to the Charles/Erik dynamic, since Erik was still tied to WWII, unless Charles was somewhat older when Legion kills him, around 2000? My assumption is the timeline would proceed pretty much as before up until Xavier's death, then things would go completely off the rails when Apocalypse and his forces chew up most of Europe and take over North America, which I'm guessing would be around 2015: the sliding timeline is about ten years, and that would've had to happen before Fantastic Four #1 to keep those events off the board. 

Of course, I don't know if my numbers are even close; and it's kind of like the Empire in Star Wars: the general vibe was that it had been around for a long, long time; but in-story it really only lasted around 30 years? Less? Luke and Leia are born at the end of Episode 3 as the Emperor takes power; they probably weren't in their thirties in Return of the Jedi. (Mark Hamill was maybe 31-32 during filming, Carrie Fisher maybe 27.) The opening of the Age of Apocalypse made it seem like it had been going on for decades; but maybe things just got worse faster than I would've guessed. (I used to have this thing, called "optimism," and...) A lot of this figuring was because I wrote an offhand comment with Satana trying to explain Krakoa-era mutant rebirths as respawns, like in video games; and I wasn't sure the AoA would have ever had any! Not that the X-Men would've had a lot of time to play any: Fighting fascism is a full-time job! But, maybe they did before; and I guess the AoA would have cell phones now, if there were any towers left standing or anything. Your service plan under Apocalypse probably didn't have a lot of minutes... 

Then, the other day there was an announcement, about Jeph Loeb and the "X-Men of Apocalypse," which was teased as if the Age of Apocalypse was still Apocalypsing, even though it was allegedly destroyed or sealed off (or both) in X-Termination #2 in 2013. And it had been seen again anyway, in Doom-approved fashion, in Secret Wars...I know for a fact I've read both of those, but the details are vague as hell for me? I think that tease was different than the story coming up in the Ms. Marvel X-event Giant-Size Age of Apocalypse, but maybe that's just the kickoff. I had personally been working up to the "reveal" that the AoA/Earth-295 was still ticking along, although maybe having been rebooted or remodeled more than once. And I had a deeply stupid reveal to go on top of that!

Ah, time makes fools of us all: back in 2013, I wondered why AoA Kurt would even want to return to the 'dismal suckhole' of the Age of Apocalypse: here we've got...relatively fresh air? Peak TV? Food trucks? And today...yeah, getting the hell out of here now seems more than completely reasonable. Well, we'll see if I keep meandering the plot in that direction: I had an AoA Magneto figure from clearance that I hadn't even opened, and was going to pop him out for this; and now I don't know. I might wait a moment anyway, since toy show tomorrow! Wish me luck, and we'll see what turns up. 

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Subtle, but it maybe makes a point about Hal.

The fancy covers were $3.99 at the time, which seems almost reasonable now; but I have picked up a bunch of them on the cheap in the years since, sometimes with the lenticular covers, sometimes the plain. Huh, I didn't think I had read the G.I. Zombie one, and there it is, top of the pile. But, here's a Future's End issue I maybe hadn't read before. Maybe. From 2014, Green Lantern: Future's End #1, "The Next Life" Written by Robert Venditti, art by Aaron Lopresti and Martín Cóccolo.

Although this was ostensibly in the, duh, future; despite a TV annoucement about Green Arrow Day and a new female GA, it still felt like the current, present-set books. Hal was still Green Lantern, and looked about as young as he did in his regular comic--no grey hair or anything. This might have been to contrast him with the ghost of his dad Martin Jordan, who appears, and apologizes for dying in a jet crash right in front of Hal as a kid. He had been brought back as a Black Lantern by Krona, although he and some former deceased GL's had been able to resist a bit. (I'm not sure how Ghost Dad knows about microbrews, though. I also figure Michelob is probably the fanciest beer Hal chugs...) Hal is reluctant to leave earth, since there had apparently been a big war or some such, that he had completely missed while doing space crap on some planet he couldn't even remember the name of. Still, he of course suits up to help his dad, and knows exactly who he was going to call in as back-up: Relic!...Relic? He was a fairly recent addition, having done the Galactus-thing of surviving the previous universe to get to this one; and while not particularly a friend, he was against Krona.

Since Relic spent all his time poking and studying the Source Wall, the fight gets started there. An old pro, Hal already knew how to defeat Black Lanterns: they had to be hit by two colors at the same time, and Relic had "reflectors" that could throw out the works. That works pretty well, until Krona disrupts Relic's tech, and Hal gets swamped by Black Lantern zombies. Hal tells Relic to launch his reflectors with whatever power they had left, and destroys Krona and most of the Black Lanterns in a "lightshow," but is mortally wounded. With the Black Ring contained, Relic finds it interesting that the "uncorrupted" dead Green Lanterns and Martin remain; while Martin yells at Relic to help his son. Relic wasn't a doctor, and didn't super-care, but he could stick Hal in the Source Wall, where he maybe could be retrieved someday. Martin sadly lowers him onto the wall, saying it wasn't Hal's time yet, as he turns to stone, cold and unchanging.

I felt like the art could've aged Hal up even a little, but they might have been making a point about him? Does Hal never change? We won't blog it right this second, but I also have handy the Green Lantern Corps: Future's End issue, where John Stewart seems to shift from Marine Corps superhero to burnout space hippie. Read more!

"Stories."

Kurt--616 Kurt--is referencing actual continuity today, namely his death in X-Force #26 and return in Amazing X-Men #1. Melodramatic? Or rather straight-forward for an X-Man? AoA Kurt is referencing--and possibly misconstruing--an offhand remark from Mystique during X-Calibre #3 or #4, where after Kurt complains about the cold, Mystique tut-tuts that, "after I went to all the trouble of finding you a father with fur in his genome." Later, while fighting the Shadow King, Mystique takes Sabretooth's form, and taunts him in a creepy way. (They were on a quest to find Destiny there, too!) Although both Sabretooth and Nightcrawler were on Magneto's X-Men, I don't recall ever seeing them interact, so I could be misconstruing it myself. 

My question is, how much is okay to tell an alternate version of yourself? Some information wouldn't apply if their worlds were too divergent, but the Age of Apocalypse was like the 616 up to when Xavier died, right? Is it Kurt's place to say, or should he let him figure it out himself? I don't know if the AoA Kurt would have any helpful advice, since most of his would probably be if you see so-and-so, kill them on sight... 

Also, Death's Head gets to rough up the Hood, minus said hood, which just makes him some nobody. But that figure is such a great jerk! The garbage can he gets stuffed into is from a lot of wrestling accessories from eBay, and is stretchable, but has an unpleasantly tacky feel. 

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You don't see Clark giving Superman the business on covers anymore, and I think we as a culture are poorer for it.

I have a small print of Superman #201 on my wall, a Curt Swan cover with Clark seemingly storming off, saying "I quit! I'm through being Superman--for good!" I don't think the story this issue is related, but the cover seems similar, and within a year of #201! Even still has a newspaper in his jacket pocket! I wonder if maybe the same editorial description or prompts were given to two artists. From 1968, Superman #209, "The Clark Kent Monster!" Written by Cary Bates, pencils by Curt Swan, inks by Jack Abel. Cover by Ross Andru and Mike Esposito.

An alien space capsule is causing tidal waves in Metropolis Harbor, and Clark Kent has to pretend to be headed for the hills, so he can duck out and change into Superman. Supes smashes open the capsule, revealing a creepy, alien brain. Still, the alien's brain-rays hurt Superman, but bounce off and destroy the alien, so problem solved? Except, when Superman lands in an alley to change, he finds his Clark Kent clothes and glasses gone, no longer in his cape-pouch! Stolen? No, Clark was already wearing them, as he confronts his alter-ego, glowing red and pissed off.

Clark then storms into the Daily Planet, and drags Lois with him, to go bring in the Marauder Mob. Clark tells Lois he's tracking the mob by their "brain-impulse residues" left at a crime scene, which seems unlike Clark somehow...He's also seemingly invulnerable, and able to use "mental domination" to turn the Marauders into meek cowards. Superman wonders, if he's just jealous of Clark, or is there something else to it...yes, you goof! The next page, Clark's made himself a Superman-like uniform, and smashes up the Planet office as he quits, even zapping Perry White with a weird vision-blast. Jimmy uses his signal watch to call Superman, who faces off with "Clark," who is of course the alien brain entity, which stole Clark's clothes, glasses, and brain cells from Superman!

Growing more big-headed, faux-Clark goes on a brief rampage, but can't bring himself to kill Lois: while it tries to assert dominance over the Clark-persona, Superman puts his plan into action. The brain still needed Superman's mind, so couldn't kill him yet, but Superman hypnotizes himself to forget his Clark Kent identity, cutting it off from the brain, which dissipates in space. Feels like Supes kinda killed that thing, or at least didn't go all-out trying to save it anyway. Later, with his memory and stuff back, Clark tells Lois that Superman told him about the creature "impersonating" him, then pretends to be scared of a yippy dog.

Also this issue: "The Super-Servant of Crime!" (Written by Robert Bernstein, pencils by Curt Swan, inks by John Giunta.) Superman had been mining gold for a charity drive, like 50 miles below a mobster's property; so to reimburse him agrees to carry out six requests, as long as he doesn't ask for anything illegal or repeat a request. Superman then repeatedly dicks the guy over, like a terrible genie, like "get me a lawyer, dawg." It's supposed to be cute and funny and just rubs me the wrong way. Read more!

If you thought Ollie was negligent with his sidekick, Marc says "hold my beer."

Plus, Brother Voodoo! And a Geraldo Rivera cameo...oh, too far to stop now, let's just shove through here. From 1989, Marc Spector: Moon Knight #9, "Zombie Saturday Night" Written by Charles (Chuck) Dixon, pencils by Sal Velluto, inks by Mark Farmer.

Brother Voodoo had gotten beat by voodoo priest/wannabe drug kingpin Dr. Friday, and was only now recovering from the zombi drug that had been force-fed to him. His medallion had been taken, so he couldn't use his powers; so he came to Moon Knight for help. B-V didn't look great, but was willing to go in guns blazing, with Moon Knight and Midnight! Midnight...? I hadn't read a lot of his appearances: this was Marc's short-lived sidekick, Jeff Wilde. He was the son of old Moon Knight foe the Midnight Man; and had fought MK under that alias, but was maybe trying to redeem himself. For his part, Marc doesn't seem particularly invested in him? Midnight nearly gets shot by the zombi henchmen while trying to get down from the chopper, and Marc only just now realizes his costume wasn't Kevlar. (Marc also takes a call from his accountant, who is furious over an upcoming IRS audit, and can't figure out why Marc would need so much aviation fuel.)

Dr. Friday is killed by his partner, for bringing heat down on them, but he gives his back-up plan or instructions to a chalk-white zombi, who gets out while Brother Voodoo guns down several others. Brother Voodoo then connects with his brother's spirit to break the zombi spell. Midnight isn't sure he believes in "all that Shirley MacLaine junk," but Marc says he's had some experience with it. Later, the white zombi--that sounds familiar somehow--tracks down Friday's killer.

Man, if Jason Todd rubbed you the wrong way back then, Jeff is raising the bar. He repeatedly refers to Brother Voodoo, Jericho Drumm, as "Jerry" which seems really disrespectful, too. He's probably best known for the Spider-Man biweekly story "Round Robin: the Sidekick's Revenge," which I've read like one issue of, and I think I just got the Robin/"Sidekick's Revenge" thing? Seriously, I could never get past why that was in Spidey's book and not Moon Knight's, but enh. And again, Midnight's showed up a couple times since, because Moon Knight really needs a deeper bench of bad guys. I know one event issue or mini or something tried to make another bad guy from the Marc Spector run out to be a big deal, but Marc doesn't remember Chainsaw any more than you do. Read more!

Gone for a day, runs back in like I'm coming back from a war.

Well, that wasn't so bad! Some of the remnants of my ex-table have been repurposed into keeping stuff off the ground, and I picked up a shelving unit at Lowes that took care of ten long-boxes! One more and I should be in good shape...for now, he said ominously. It's funny; for a long time, I treated stuff like longboxes, shelves, totes for toys; all unreasonable expenses that were keeping me from getting more stuff! A tirade like Peter Griffin's drug tips ("more smack in your arms") that's probably aged about as well...

But, little secret? I do enjoy the hell out of this stupid blog, and nattering on about semi-remembered comics. Like today's book!  From 1993, Dark Angel #9 "Assassination, part 1" Written by Bernie Jaye, art by Dell Barras. Cover by Bryan Hitch!

So we've seen an issue of this before (With Excalibur, of course!) and we've looked at multiple Marvel UK books, but right this very second I have no idea what Mys-Tech's end goal was? Step one: get immortality from Mephisto. Step two: spend centuries making the world awful and plotting to double-cross Mephisto somehow. Step three: profit? Dark Angel--formerly Hell's Angel for her first five issues, which all guest-star the X-Men! I don't know why the name change; if there were negative associations with the biker gang, or if the bikers had good lawyers. Anyway, Dark Angel's dad Ranulph had worked for Mys-Tech, until his death, and the Mys-Tech board was still hounding him to get some work done: they wanted his immortality research, but Mephisto had apparently killed Ranulph in the first issue, which I thought was a no-no for him. The board and Dark Angel were both looking for pieces of his soul, and the board fights through some "dead-zoners," one of whom appears to be Nighthawk, from the Squadron Supreme? We've seen other dead heroes in this series, it may have been a recurring bit.

Dark Angel gets the "Wyrd Sisters," to fight the board: they were daughters of the "Web-Spinners." Not in a Spider-Man sense, but more classical, like the Fates. The board nearly gets Ranulph's soul, which means they could then order the hit on Dark Angel's secret identity, but she fakes them out into thinking Mephisto was coming. Unfortunately, even though Mys-Tech tries to call off their hit, since Shevaune Haldane's immortality research was now needed, they can't! (I swear her civilian name is spelled six different ways in the few issues I've seen of hers! Sure enough, it's Shevaun on the Marvel Wiki.) Mys-Tech's robotic "D.O.G.s" are sniffing out Dark Angel's trail, which puts one against the X-Men at their mansion, and Dark Angel teleports in to help...to be continued, although you know what might have helped sales immensely? Maybe an actual crossover! If Dark Angel had actually appeared in Uncanny, that would've put her in front of a lot of readers.

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